Thirtysomething Revisited

Snap out of it!

2012-02-15T12:11:00.005-05:00

Ok, enough is enough. I am removing myself from the funk of 2012 that I began. It's time to listen to Cher and snap out of it.

So its been a tough year so far, big deal. Other people have it much worse than me.

But let's sum up the year so far. I like to summarize for the new people that stumble across the blog.

Back problems that now require surgery - apparently I am strangling a nerve and may have permanent nerve damage. But really, who needs to feel all parts of their left leg?
Low hemoglobin - it is so low, apparently I should be almost dead, unable to speak or stand upright. On the upside, I am clearly a science miracle.
I turned 40. Which means I should change the name of this blog now - but I don't know what to change it to. I feel I deserve to look perpetually in my 30's. Feel it - believe it - become it.
My beloved grandfather died.
I was fired. Technically they say my job was "eliminated" - and they did offer me another job - but that would require me to move - AGAIN - and I am not going to do it. So I am 40 and fired.
Ending my marriage. I am choosing not to comment broadly on this - because some things are best kept personal.

Ironically - I think I have ac

hieved most of the life events that qualify as traumatic and life changing in a short amount of time.

As you can see from the below chart - I have had a great deal to work through.

And that is why it is

time to snap out of it and count my blessings.

Personally - I am happy and content.
I look really good for 40 - those ladies at the Hairport where my Nana gets her hair done thought I was in my 20's - granted, they are not exactly style or beauty editors for Vogue - but a compliment is a compliment.
I am not a Philistine
I am a medical miracle - who else do you know with 4.6 hemoglobin not permanently hooked up to a blood transfusion?
I can sleep almost through the whole night again - if you have chronic pain - you know what a blessing this is.
All of my health problems can be fixed. The doctor said so.
I am only 10lbs away from my ideal body weight - never in my life have I only needed to lose 10lbs! I am super excited about this.
Even though I am losing my great job, working for a company I love and with the best people - the ones that have reached out to me have made me feel better than I ever did before. I know I made an impact on lives. That is pretty cool and profound.

So that is that. I am snapping out of it as we speak.

2012 so far? not so much

2012-02-01T14:04:00.003-05:00

Ugh.

I am trying to be really hopeful for 2012.

I wanted 2012 to be a "jazz hands kind of year"

It has turned out that 2012 is hard so far.

I turned 40 - my grandfather died - I do need to have back surgery to rescue my strangled nerve that is possibly permanently damaged - I have low blood hemoglobin.

Because of the low hemoglobin - my surgery is on hold until they can determine why I have low hemoglobin.

I have tendencies toward hysteria.

And of course, have spent far too much time looking up what low hemoglobin means.

Vitamin deficiancy

Anemia

CANCER

Heavy menstural flow

CANCER

I am freaking out. The worst part is, I am dying for relief from the back pain - and now I have to wait until we figure out the other catostrophic health issue.

I need some optimism and happy vibes - and a few prayers wouldn't hurt either.

The Greatest Generation - The Greatest Pop

2012-01-19T13:50:00.002-05:00

My wonderful grandfather passed away last week. He was a wonderful man and we will miss him dearly.

I had wanted to say a few words about him during his wake - but ended up delivering the Eulogy at his funeral service.

As I look over the words, I am still flooded with even more memories that I wished I had shared, but didn't......he knows how much we loved him....so I share with you those same words - my final tribute to Pop.

My Pop was a proud member of the Greatest Generation. He epitomized the age.
He was born in 1922, he grew up during the Great Depression. He served his country in WW2 - a proud 4.2 mortar man in the Pacific.
Although he was wounded in Okinawa, he never bragged about his service....he humbly returned home, married his sweetheart and lived the American Dream.

Pop was the proudest American I ever met.
His favorite song was God Bless America.

He was also the proudest Irishman I ever met - he kissed the Blarney Stone and never neglected in sending me a card every St. Patrick's Day......usually with a $10 bill inside cleverly folded to look like a $100 bill!

Pop loved his church, his family, and took pride in the work he did with his hands. Building landmarks or even in building and improving the home he loved and lived in for over 62 years.

And we can't forget his love of the golf course...happiness is, Pop on the greens!

In all honesty, Pop was a quiet man. He had a strong work ethic, strong values and principles and was a man of few words - but when he did speak - I always listened with rapt attention.

I used to always say, "My Pop is truly the NICEST man you will ever meet"

Always a smile on his face and I can't recall ever seeing him in a bad mood. EVER.

My memories of him are snippets of sights and sounds that will stay with me forever.

Pop coming home from work - slipping off his work shoes and into his trusty slippers.
Into the kitchen he would come - crisp white t-shirt, his St. Christopher medal around his neck, his well worn, soft beige work pants....smelling of sawdust, he would pour himself a big glass full of orange juice.
EXTRA PULP was Pop's favorite. I found this to be absolutely disgusting - but he loved it!

Pop had the bluest eyes - which I think shone even brighter with his smile!

And what a sly sense of humor - always the guy in the room with the perfect comeback at the perfect moment.

Scorching Hot Liquids!!!! Pop was superhuman in the consumption of soups and hot coffee or tea. If it wasn't scalding hot - it wasn't hot enough. He may have been the nicest guy - but he never hesitated in sending soup back to the kitchen that wasn't hot enough!

The man always had a tan - hair sticking straight up - and a smile on his face......

On birthdays - you could expect a call that involved picking up the phone and hearing the most beautiful rendition of Happy Birthday ever sung to you - for any encore performance of his singing talents - all you had to do was go to church....Pop sang every hymn with gusto!

In times of celebration or relaxation - the perfect Manhatten was Pop's signature drink. I credit him for teaching me the joy of the perfect cocktail. And if you have not tried a Manhattan - I highly recommend you do so at your earliest convenience.

Parties with Pop and Nan - If I am a foodie now, it is because of Pop and Nan - their legacy of dining out, dressing up or dining in and dressing down - good food and drink defined our times together.

He loved lasagna, he hated chicken.

My Pop lived a humble and meaningful life....full of the quirks and tidbits that bring individuality to all of us and our family experience.

He influenced me with his constant love and happiness. For a man of few words, you never doubted where you stood....every single time, every single visit, every single phone call would end with Pop saying the best thing....."Love You!"

And Pop......."I Love You."

Canada = USA lite....The Same But Different

2011-09-28T21:40:00.003-04:00

A few months ago I visited Montreal and Ottawa.
It was a bit rough on me - I felt a bit out of sorts - which surprised me - because I assumed always that Canada was USA lite. It may have been the French speaking that threw my equilibrium off - I'm still not sure.

This week I am in Toronto - it turns out that Toronto is USA lite.
I like it here.
And yet, at the same time, you know you are someplace different.

In the US - we love to use our credit cards and debit cards, we never have cash.
Canadians only like to use cash and debit cards - but you better have a debit MasterCard - because they don't take Visa.
It turns out that Visa is not "everywhere you want to be"

In the US - we pride ourselves on pretending to be green and concerned about the environment.
Canadians don't pretend to be green, they really are. Even the hotel rooms have recycle bins!

In the US - you don't find WalMart's at the mall.
Canadians love when a WalMart is the anchor store. And they pile those deals high! If you want to buy hockey paraphernalia - WalMart is the place to be.

In the US - if you want to buy bulk food - you go to that aisle in the grocery store.
Canadians have a place called Bulk Barn. A whole store of bulk bins! Seriously - this place is off the hook!

In the US - Sears is a place where you buy lawnmowers and car batteries.
Canadians go there and the store is full of 70" flat screen TV's with Paris runway shows and designer duds to buy!

In the US - we love Starbucks.
Canadians love Tim Horton's, Timothy's and Second Cup - Starbucks....not so much. Don't get me wrong - Starbucks are still here - but the Tim Horton's appears to have the same appeal here that Dunkin Donuts does in New England - frenzied caffeine fiends!

In the US - when you order iced tea it is typically not sweet - unless you are in the South.
Canadians put a ton of sugar in their tea and only 2 ice cubes.

In the US - you avoid making eye contact and small talk with strangers.
Canadians talk to you all the time - and make eye contact - and are really nice! Even in elevators!

Oh, my aching back...

2011-09-27T16:39:00.003-04:00

I go hot and cold on the blogging.

But this last cold spell has really been because I have been plagued with a terrible back problem.

It has really been a game changer for me.

Back in the early spring - I was experiencing twinges of pains here and there in my left hip - but they came quickly and soon went away..

Sadly - they started to come more often and really be a problem.

As I entered May - the pain was now constant and shooting down my leg.

I knew the pain was bad and I had a serious problem the moment I knew I needed a doctor.

I hate doctors. I hate needles. I hate, hate, hate.

First, I self diagnosed myself with sciatica. I'm a huge fan of self diagnosis and hypochondria

Second, I went to see a chiropractor - huge mistake - this actually deserves a post on it's own.

Third, when the pain was so bad I couldn't see straight, was dizzy and about to pass out - I went to the ER. they took a bizarro xray of my pelvis twice and gave me a shot in the ass....clearly not taking interest in my sciatica diagnosis - the crackpot doc on duty thought I must have fused pelvic joints?! wtf?!

The ER ended up referring me to an orthopedic doctor - who ultimately sent me for an MRI and then to a physical therapist and a pain management doctor.

It turns out - I have a herniation of the disk in the L4 L5 - apparently its not bulging too much and it is not all the way out or burst - that is supposedly good news.

The bad news is - days away from October - I am still fairly miserable.

Physical therapy is and was great - I do my exercises diligently and it gives me relief. Apparently I am also strenghtening my core so that when my disk decides to slip back into place - I won't have future problems.

The pain management doctors gave me 3 epidural steroid injections. I had to be knocked out for these. I didn't like them. I wanted a miracle and they did not provide it.

The pain doctor wants me to get another one - but I am convinced the steroids made me feel weird, and I didn't get total relief - so why should I let you bill my insurance company another $8000 for another shot?

Just give me pills.

But, I kind of hate popping pills too. I don't think they really work - and the ones that do, make me pass out so if the pain is gone, I don't even get to enjoy being pain free and awake.

I am passed out and drooling.

Not attractive.

I now have deep sympathy and empathy for those that suffer chronic pain. I don't know how much longer I can take this. I don't remember my back and leg feeling good anymore. I just feel pain, aches and tingles all the time. I can't sit for more than 30 minutes. I can't do the things I used to do. It sucks.

I have been told over and over that the healing process is long and bumpy - but somehow it doesn't make it any better.

But I will soldier on - one small pitiful shuffle at a time.

I love you Mom!

2011-05-07T12:14:00.013-04:00

I give full credit to my parents for making me who I am.
They are awesome people.

But as this is Mother's Day - I have to give special props to Mom on her special weekend. Last year was the first time I paid tribute to Mom - but really, how can you stop at just one?

My Mom knows how much I love her. I think she would even tell you - she never has to worry that we don't have a great, loving relationship.

We are very demonstrative of our love for each other and always mangage to laugh and have tons of fun together.

I certainly consider her to be one of my favorite people, even though we couldn't be more different.

I am a fan of sunblock. As I am pale and pasty - (a complexion I get from my Mother!!!) I like to protect my skin. Mom however, likes to douse herself in Baby Oil or some toxic tanning solution called Maui Gold. You can see from the photo - the woman didn't even put a hat on her infant child at the beach! I'm squinting and looking like a special needs child. Mom - what kind of skin damage happened to me that day?

I don't think we ever mutually agree on what looks or is good. Be it clothing choices, hairstyles, music, movies or decorating choices. When I think something is fabulous - My Mom says, "oh, that's different" (key phrase for I hate everything about it)

I pretty much made fun of every outfit Mom put me in as a child. She did terrible things to my hair in the 70's. Bad perms, terrible barrette placement and she used to hit me on the head with the brush.

Even though I say we have different taste in music, she is the reason I love bad music. All I have to do is hear a few bars of Burt Bacharach or the 5th Dimension and I am singing along and thinking of my Mom.

Mom hates Edward. She doesn't get Twilight. When I determined that all mature women were on Team Edward, and all teenage girls were on Team Jacob - she bucked the system and went for Team Jacob. She doesn't even know Edward is a vampire.... she thinks it's a book about witches. She doesn't always pay attention to the details....but that's ok, I still love her.

Each time I come home, I inevitably have to make some sort of change to the house. Mom loves to inject tacky occasionally - If I had any sense of style as a young child - this furniture would not have lasted long.

And despite all of our differences - Mom is still my best friend.

Mom is always tolerant of me. Even though I give her a terrible time and make fun of her. She has always been right by my side and the best support. As mothers should, she loves me no matter what and let's me be me. We share as much now as we did when it was just the two of us - with Dad far away at sea.

As an adult now, I can't tell you how much I appreciate having a Mom that still remains proud of me and gives the best advice and support.

Mom continues to remind me all the time how important it is to love deeply and laugh often.

Thanks for teaching me how to be joyful, have fun and reminding me to laugh at myself.

Basta....no pasta!

2011-04-10T10:51:00.003-04:00

Let's take a moment to count down the moments until the Lenten fast of no pasta is over. Easter is April 24th. Today is April 10th. Technically speaking we have 14 more days of no pasta. This has not been easy. But it was stop swearing, or stop eating pasta for lent. And there is no way I could ever stop swearing. (I swear out loud, I swear in my head - so really there is no way to control thoughts - which would not have made it a very valid effort) I gave up pasta once for lent - that was 5 years ago - the only reason I did it then was because I was arriving in Italy on Easter Sunday - I was able to break the fast with loads of pasta. It was like a reward. I'm not going to be in Italy. So it's kind of an anti-climatic end to the fast. Poo. I don't think this fast will be habit changing either. The year I gave up Starbucks for Lent - I was seriously dropping way too much cash on lattes and mochas. And even though I woke at sunrise that Easter and was the first person in line at Starbucks that Sunday - I actually noticed I stopped going as much after the fact. But let's be real - I don't see myself cutting back on my pasta. I also convinced myself that not eating pasta would help reduce the size of my ass - which it has. The pomegranate seed dress that I bought with the intent of wearing to the February wedding brunch - will now at least fit for the April wedding shower. (you can't really see it good - but the little red dots look like pomegranate seeds to me - the dress is really cute on - the hanger appeal is not so much. Trust me, super cute and very spring appropriate. I would like to thank those of you that ate pasta in front of me. Each of you savored every morsel - and I think all but one of you actually felt kind of bad and guilty for eating it in front of me. How cool that my Lenten fast would not only make me look better - but result in residual Catholic guilt for Catholics and Non-Catholics alike. But let's stop the madness already. Let's be able to partake in pasta together, with no guilt. Let's order plates and plates of papparadelle and say to hell with pomegranate seed dresses. (ok, not really - let's still order plates and plates of pasta - I will just keep moving on PAR and than I can eat the plates of pasta and still look good in pomegranate seed dresses)

I'm a fragrance whore....

2011-03-05T18:17:00.004-05:00

I literally can't get enough of fragrance lately. Just a few short weeks ago I was all over Jo Malone and then Flowerbomb.

Now its Miss Dior Cherie.

Miss Dior Cherie makes me want to hug myself.

It has notes of green tangerine, violette, pink jasmine, patchouli, musk, sweet strawberry leaves, caramel popcorn and stawberry sorbet.

I smell delightful and am full of happiness.

I also can't believe how much money I am dropping on fragrance now. But, I am keenly aware that all sophisticated women need a fragrance wardrobe.

My closet is expanding to accomodate.

Love Love Love Love Love Love......

2011-02-13T09:10:00.005-05:00

Love is in the air folks.
And in honor of the week, I am going to spread the love.
And really, having the love glow about you makes you look better....so let's go with it.

We have a big wedding this week! eeeee! I am jumping with excitement for the love birds!

It's Valentine's Day tomorrow - which guarantees me a bouquet of my favorite flowers - tulips!

I am surrounded by love really. I need to be thankful for that.
My family and friends, even Tony and Bebe smother me in it. For that I am grateful. I hope I smother you each of you back.

Let's take a bit of time to spread some love and be glad it's in our lives everyday in whatever form available.

music, poems, art, books, movies, Mr. Darcy, Edward, Mike Green, red wine, snuggling under a blanket, laughter with friends, fabulous food that makes your toes curl, a great hug, an even more fantastic kiss, a shared private joke, best girl friends, best boy friends, best moms and dads, memories of past loves, mojitos with strangers, secrets with sisters, getting tucked into bed.

You all know who you are - thank you for the love you give me and the love you let me give you.
xo

Nightmare in seats 6C and 6F

2011-02-09T22:31:00.003-05:00

I may be a bit ornery right now - I admit it ok.
It's times like these that I find it necessary to give a gentle reminder to airline passengers.
Make it easier on all of us by following the below guidelines.

Take your shoes off, and your belt, and empty your pockets. No really, take everything out. This is not a new procedure.

The liquids need to come out too - in a ziploc, in a separate bin. also not a new initiative.

Follow the rules for the body scanner - see the image in front of you that tells you how to spread your legs and raise your arms - follow the stick figure and move on.

When you are in zone 6 for boarding, sit your ass down until at least zone 5 is done boarding. Don't block the way. Move. The plane won't leave until we are all on board. I promise.

When they tell you to not put small bags and coats in the overhead - listen to them. To the jerk who shoved his enormous overcoat in the bin as I had my bag lifted over my head to place it there - I hate you. Next time I will pull your coat out, throw it on the ground and step on it. You were lucky I was in a good mood today.

When the man is sleeping in seat 6D - don't reach over him to keep tapping on your pal in 6F. Shut up, keep your hands to yourself and let the man sleep.

When you have to stand up and go to the bathroom - don't use the seat in front of you like a fixed rope helping you up to the summit of Everest. Stand up like a normal person - do you grab onto things at home to hoist yourself up? I think not. If you were old or handicapped - ok, but when you are young and fit - cut it out.

Do you really need to ask what drinks are available? Its in the airline magazine in front of you.

When we land - send a text. We don't need to hear you announce to the world that you just landed. No shit. We just landed too. Shut up.

Businessmen of the world - remember courtesy? How about not stampeding over us to bum rush the door? I'm just saying.

Roman Radio on my ipod

2011-01-31T23:15:00.002-05:00

I am first to admit to having what most people would classify as bad taste in music.

I'm not a musical person, I don't appreciate music properly - though most of you know I do long to be a lounge singer...which actually supports my bad taste in music as a general rule.

(total digression too - how cute is the Italian man in my photo by the Spanish Steps? He's so metrosexual)

My ipod is of course full of an eclectic mix of songs and artists. From Johnny Cash, 50cent, Flo Rida, Bollywood hits, movie soundtracks, Linkin Park and The Carpenters - just to name a few. Just the other day, I ran across a song I had forgotten about. I now realize I need to cycle through the full scope of my music library and not just my typical "go to" playlists.

It was an Italian song - pop music Italian - the kind you hear in the car in Italy as your driver is chain smoking and whipping through traffic with reckless yet confident abandon.

So I went onto itunes and looked the artist up. I had not found her on there before, but since itunes has been updating itself more often - low and behold there she was. I ended up finding all sorts of Italian Contemporary Pop music - now I am hooked. I was jamming last night, dancing in my underwear like I love to do. Then today - rocking out on the airplane. I don't normally dance in my seat on aircraft - but this is the most fabulous music! It's my own little secret that I am sharing with all of you. Run, don't walk and download a few songs!

Giorgia - I guess she is quite famous. She had a greatest hits album - and I must admit I liked every song on the album - she can really sing.

Madreblu - Certamente was the song I have had for years. I actually sing along to this song quite beautifully. I think she is complaining about some guy she can't get out of her head, and now she can't sleep. We've all been there. The album is Necessita.

Tiziano Ferro - this guy is a trip. He kind of scares me but I like it.

Old Lady on 5th Avenue

2011-01-19T21:09:00.003-05:00

If you want to feel like an old lady.....stop on by Saks Fifth Avenue and have Eduardo put some $200 eye cream on you.

He will then hold up a mirror so you can see your wrinkle eye vs. your more youthful eye.

All day I walked around looking like I was firm on one side and a stroke victim on the other.

No, I did NOT buy the $200 eye cream.

But now I kind of wish I did.

By tomorrow my wrinkles will return and I won't be so humiliated.

Seriously - I can feel how firm the skin is there now - I may just invest and slather that all over.

Suckered by the Universe

2011-01-16T21:41:00.006-05:00

The world is changed. I feel it in the water.........

I can't seem to get Lord of the Rings out of my head lately. They are playing it over and over again on cable...so that could be part of the problem....but when I am having a life moment...I like to recall familiar lines that seem relevant.

And saying "the world is changed. I feel it in the water" seems appropriate right now.

I'm also still loving to say....."I have no memory of this place" also from LOTR. It is a line that applies to a multitude of situations...and can relieve tense moments when said out loud.

Anyway...back to the original intent........the world is changed. I feel it in the water.

I'm not going to deny that it is entirely possible I am experiencing some sort of mid life crisis. With the birthday just passed.....and a new year just begun....it makes a person reflect.

I have been reflecting. I have also been a bit torn. Just struggling with some life decisions and choices.

On my birthday, I received a free tarot reading.

That was some scary shit.

My good friend Andi can tell you, that in a moment of life crisis, I love a good tarot reading.

I can analyze that crap for hours. Much to my own harm probably.

I held onto the reading for a day or two, read it about 50 times, then finally threw it away.

A few days later, another crisis hit when someone on Facebook posted a link that said our zodiac signs were all jacked up. Suddenly I was no longer a Capricorn but a Sagittarius. That freaked me out. But all is well. It turns out I am still a Capricorn. Phew.

So then, yesterday comes.....I receive an email of all things with some sort of 2011 reading. I don't know where this stuff comes from.....but I get suckered in and read it.

It turns out that cosmically speaking, this is going to be a very eventful year for me!

(shuh....I totally knew that! the world is changed. I feel it in the water!!!)

Apparently something truly exceptional is going to happen to me this year. And I am going to witness 4 separate events that will have a profound impact on me.

The first one on January 4th.....ummmm, January 4th is over. I don't recall an event occurring.

The second one - (this is my favorite one) will occur between January 22nd and the 4th of June. kind of a long window for an event.

The third one will occur on March 11th. I am considering taking this day off so I can witness the event.

and the 4th one will occur in early summer - which is to say the first part of July.

As I read...as was totally sucked in.

In each of these 4 periods a very unusual and special event will occur that will have repercussions that impact 2011 and the rest of my life. Apparently the event between January 22nd and June 4th is major. It is described as the most intense event.

I'm kind of scared.

In addition to life events....I am scheduled to have some pretty impactful encounters with people.

There is one person who is bad, bad, bad and I have to avoid.

But there is another person that is going to come into my life that is good, good, good. I hope I don't avoid the wrong person!!!!

The thing went on and on about all of my major life changes.

And being the mid-life-sucker-idiot-indecisive person that I am.....I totally paid for another analysis. I have NEVER done that.

I was totally sucked in.

They give me a free tarot reading.

A free mini astro chart....

and suddenly I am spending my own money for a deeper look inside.

I can only hope that after spending my hard earned money so stupidly, I can get my own brain around some of my real life dilemmas.

Perhaps as I peruse my astrological chart......I can then take my next few dollars and plunk it down for a therapist.

Because......the world is changed. I feel it in the water.

Something is coming.

Let Them Eat Cake! Qu'ils mangent de la brioche!

2011-01-10T19:23:00.008-05:00

Marie Antoinette actually never said that.

It is just a nasty rumor spread by radical French Revolutionist propagandist punks.

And really, brioche isn't cake.

Yes, it is rich, decadent and delicious - but most definitely NOT cake.

And if you think about it - saying "let them eat cake" is actually quite nice. If I was a poor French peasant and the queen was offering up cake - I'd be 1st in line.

If I have not already mentioned in this blog before - I have read at least 5 biographies on Marie Antoinette. I highly recommend you pick one up.

And the Sophia Coppola movie with Kirsten Dunst? I am a fan. Lots are not - but I am.

Anyway, Cake has been a big subject the past few days.

I love cake.

I am never one to run from cake.

But a dilemma arose over whether or not to "Let them eat cake" at an upcoming bridal shower I am hosting.

It is a bridal brunch. BRUNCH.

I didn't even think cake would be an appropriate option.

Brioche maybe....but not Cake!

Certain parties began to insist that cake was a must.

I have struggled and struggled on this.

Those of you attending the shower must wait until the actual event to see if it is cake or no cake.

I'm still undecided....which is ironic.

Because I love cake.

The wedding cake is my favorite part of weddings.

The birthday cake is my favorite part of birthdays.

The question of cake is even more ironic because tomorrow is my birthday.

And I am hoping cake is involved.

Will Tim come thru with a cake? Or will I have to be irritated that he didn't and buy one on my own?

Like the cake at the shower question - the answer lies in the future.

As I reflected on cake. I pulled out some old birthday photos.

This one is me on my 1st birthday.

Clearly disappointed that no cake has yet appeared.

However, the cases of liquor on the right has my cousin Matthew on the full on waddle in his green jumpsuit.

By the next photo - I am now looking more excited. They put me in the high chair. That must equal cake. The presents I'm sure were a thrill - but you can almost see the look on my face that says, "What? No Cake?"

(and side note - why give a card to a one year old? really?!)

I do like how many photos there are of me and family gathered around cake.

It is a highlight.

I even sport a 'cake' themed hat in one photo.

What a striking fashion moment that was!

And no party hats appear on the 1, 5, 6 year old Annette, but on 17 paper cone hats are rocking the house.

Check out how I am about to nose dive into that delicious cake! Everyone else...eyes on the camera, Annette....eyes on the CAKE!

(actually, Nan wants some of that cake action too.)

My Mom even once sent me a package on my birthday when I was alone in Austin.

It had a box cake mix, a bottle of vegetable oil and a can of frosting and candles.

All I had to do was add water.

Wasn't that sweet?

Mom knew my love for cake knew no bounds...even if I had to make one on my own out of a box.

Oh for the love of Cake!

Nappy

2011-01-09T19:42:00.005-05:00

I love a nappy in the afternoon.
and I don't mean a nappy - like a diaper.

But a nappy like a nap.

Whether it is curled up on the couch under a blanket - or stretched out on the bed in the sun...nappies are pure heaven.

I longed to take a nap today - but finally had to deconstruct Christmas - so no nappy for me.

Tony and Bebe did not have to deconstruct Christmas.

So they napped all day.

This of course served to make me:

1. very jealous

2. unable to concentrate on Christmas deconstruction - because I can't resist a peaceful animal. I have to hug and kiss and snuggle with them.

Needles to say - deconstruction took all day.

But at least it's done now.

Farewell Winter Holidays!

Time for a nap.

The Perfect Storm = Jo Malone

2011-01-06T22:11:00.002-05:00

I have been super cranky for no reason. I think it has just been a perfect storm of contributing factors that have led to my bad attitude the last few days.

For shame, because my Caps kicked Penguin ass on New Years Day. (I think Sidney Crosby cried....wah...little punk bitch).
So it was a great kick off to the New Year.

But I think I am just a little weary and tired post holiday. And I am about to partake on a bit of a whirlwind of activity. So of course I begin to obsess about stupid things.

I also am having that weird food tasting thing. When none of the food I eat tastes normal. When I question whomever is with me if their food tastes ok - they look at me weird. Tim says it is just my weird food tasting time. I guess it's like my period....only different.

And while I am loving my new Kindle - the book I am currently reading is kind of freaking me out. It's called The Emperor of All Maladies. It is essentially a 'biography' of cancer. It is not exactly light, bedtime reading. In fact - I go to sleep imagining Leukemia cells in my blood - and the image is not a good one. I need to remember that I can be borderline hypochondriac. When I was younger, I often diagnosed my own illnesses after consulting the medical dictionary on my parent's book shelf. I think the book should have been hidden from me. It's not normal to self diagnose things like TB and Marfan's Syndrome on oneself. This book is kind of taking me back - and I don't want to self diagnose cancer in any form. Ugh.....it is creeping me out now.
I think finishing this book is going to be a long task.

Knowing that sleep would not come easy with cancer on the brain - I went thru the stack of books under the Kindle and picked up Where Men Win Glory - I am now disturbed that such a nice man like Pat Tillman was killed. And by friendly fire no less. Knowing that officers in the Army and officials in the Pentagon and White House lied about his death by friendly fire - and then tried to take the focus away from bad press like Abu Ghraib and Fallujah - by parading his story to the media makes me even angrier.
So for the past few nights I have been plagued by disease and corrupt officials.
Suddenly the bad attitude is revealing itself to have a cause.

And to top it all off, I let myself be bothered by "the beast". Most of you know of whom I speak.
I hate when I let the 'beast' push me to the edge.
Just as I hit the precipice today - I pushed back and stood up for myself.
Huzzah for me!
I felt I deserved a reward for being such a strong and powerful woman.
So I treated myself to a bottle of perfume and a bottle of Chanel nail polish.

The selection process took some time. I was really digging this fragrance called Flowerbomb!
I put it on and let it settle - it is a tad sweeter than I normally wear - but really nice.
But then - to my horror - I recalled that the 'beast' had shown me the fragrance once - so on principle I didn't buy it.
What if he smelled me and thought he influenced me to buy it?!
Better to have someone ****gift**** it to me. (hint....Tuesday is my Birthday!)

So then I wandered over to Jo Malone - I have never been able to settle on a fragrance - they have so many to choose from.....but after lots of sniffs - I settled on the Nectarine Blossom and Honey. I don't know if it is my new signature fragrance.
I have been all about my India for so long now - but as with most things - when people in my family start to wear it - it is no longer a signature for me - so I have to change things up.
I'll keep you posted.

And the Chanel nail polish? If you are a woman and have not treated yourself to a bottle of Chanel nail polish - run, don't walk and buy you some.
It lasts forever. The color goes on great in one coat - (but i still do 2 just because)
I bought Steel. I love my vampy hands.

So in conclusion - after a hot bath, a self manicure with Chanel nail polish - and a spritz of Nectarine Blossom & Honey cologne - I'm going to drift off with a good book and a better attitude......

The Don't List for 2011

2011-01-03T14:35:00.005-05:00

I don't really make hard, fast, specific resolutions each year.

I try to keep it fairly simple.
When asked my resolution for the New Year early last week, my response was a simple,
"don't be a fat ass"

If you think about it - being a fat ass encompasses a whole bunch of topics and resolutions.
In order to not be a fat ass, one must excercise regularly, eat well and not spend hours on the couch.
This I can handle.

It also includes things like - don't eat an entire bag of m&m's even though they are delicious and make you happy.
don't spend an entire Sunday watching Bridzillas when you could be cleaning, cooking, reading a good book, volunteering or moving your fat ass.

Project Ass Reduction is in full swing, I have excercised on average 6 days a week for many weeks now.
I feel better, I look better and knock on wood - will not get a cold.
I'm actually proud of the fact that I took on PAR during the holidays.
If you can make it there - you can make it anywhere.
Truly my resolution began before the New Year - and I have already made it past the one week when they say all people fail.
So I love being a success in 2011 on the 4th of January already.

I am bucking the system and throwing in another resolution.
And that is to not kill plants.
or to try not to kill plants.
The pressure is on people.
I have had 2 live houseplants.
One has survived for more than 2 years.
One has survived for 1 year and 5 months.

That is a world record in the plant kingdom.
The only reason they live is because they are succulents.
That means when I forget to water them for 3 months, they continue to live.

Last week, post Kwanzaa celebration, I came home with a 3rd plant.
The poor thing is not a succulent.
I am worried.
To make matters worse - this plant is a trimming off of a plant that was my Great Grandmother's. The plant has sprouted many other plants - and my Aunt told me there was no way I could kill it.
Yes, I can kill it.
I don't know what it is, and I don't know how to care for it.
I'm afraid to water it because I overwater.
I'm afraid to not put it in the right spot because what if it gets too much sun, or not enough sun. It's by a door - is that too drafty? But if it is not by a door, everywhere else is too dark - does that mean it will die from lack of sun?
Help me Mary Mother of God to not kill this plant.
How pathetic would my legacy be to Nonnie Alpha if I killed this.
It is like a family legacy.
So I have to resolve to not be a plant killer.
This one could be harder than not eating an entire bag of m&m's.

Perhaps he knew, as I did not, that the Earth was made round so that we would not see too far down the road.

2011-01-02T10:56:00.002-05:00

I just finished crying my eyes out. I am a sucker for a good romance....and Out of Africa just ended.

That music is so sweeping and gorgeous.

It's cinematography glorious.

Meryl is divine - and I don't even like Robert Redford as a general rule - I mean, after all - his name in the movie is Denys Finch-Hatten. Can you pretend to have an English accent at least?!

But in all honesty - a man who would wash my hair could have whatever accent he wanted.

sigh......

All day I will walk around saying "I had a farm in Africa...at the foot of the Ngong hills...." I'll say it in my head, because Danish accents are not anything I'm skilled at.

2011 has been wonderful so far.

I had a fabulous New Years Eve....

My Caps won the Winter Classic.

And I woke up today to watch Out of Africa.

I have decided that the best course for me in my life is to move to Africa and take up a passionate love affair with some brooding wanderer. When it's over, I can come home to Denmark(or DC) and start life all over again.

Smarter and wiser after my life changing experience.

Doesn't that sound like a wonderful plan?

I'll have to tell Tim of course, but I think so long as he knows I'm coming back he'd be ok with it.

I'm constantly harassed by my family for loving movies like Out of Africa and The English Patient - but come on...! Let a gal have her moments!

American Beauty

2010-12-27T09:13:00.005-05:00

And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Sometimes, there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in. ~American Beauty

I remember how much I loved that movie in 1999.

That particular line has been running in my head since I received some of the most beautiful gifts this Christmas.

Charles made me the most beautiful book of photographs. They are images that take your breath away - and images that are close to my heart.

All of the photographs speak to me in some way - and the inscription in the back says, "In putting this together I realized how lucky I am to have seen such beauty. I think I'll make the theme of the book ~ seek out beauty and when you find it, share it."

Thanks Charles for sharing the beauty and reminding us that it is all around us. I am so lucky to have you!

I wrote earlier that this was the year of the simple Christmas. It turned out to be just what I needed. Simple gifts, simple pleasures and the joy of being around those I love. Gifts like the one Charles gave me, fill me with so much happiness. I realize how lucky I really am. I have wonderful people in my life. And I realize I don't often recognize them.

Keeping a blog has made me feel like a bit of a narcissist.

It is an ongoing dialogue with yourself. And while I like to think it is reflective, it is most often just full of complaining and my own views on how the world should react to me and how I react to the world.

I talk so much about myself, but I don't really look at myself.

On Christmas Eve, a woman who has known me since I was 12, came up to me, held my face in her hands and told me how beautiful I was.

I nearly fell over. Here is a person that sees me at least a few times a year. Never had she done this before.

But she paid me the best compliment and gave me the best gift I could have gotten.

She told me she could see how I was really and truly becoming the woman I was supposed to be. And that I was glowing. Glowing in my own beauty and who I was.

Comfortable in my own skin.

I was overcome by what she said to me. I have never considered myself to be beautiful or pretty. Just an average girl/woman.

The kind of girl/woman nobody really noticed. Not even the people that saw me every day.

I recalled painting the picture above in college. At the time - another woman came up to me and told me the painting was my self portrait. She said the woman I would become was in that painting.

I couldn't imagine myself as that woman - but what a nice thought. Oh to be beautiful and bold. Confident and able to turn heads.

It only took another 18 years. But I think both women were right. There was the woman I was longing to become - and now here I am. I'm her.

And there is a beauty in that.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-24T10:14:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

I didn't achieve holiday perfection....but am basking in holiday glow nonetheless.

Love to all - and God Bless Us Everyone.

It has come down to this.

2010-12-22T17:24:00.003-05:00

If I had a cleaning lady or cleaning person......I would not have as much stress in my life.

I don't know why I can't win this battle and have somebody be able to come in and clean up after me.

My own Mother will tell you, I have needed help in this area my whole life.

Horrid Sister Teresa dumped my desk over in front of the whole first grade class to show what a slob I was.

My holidays would be merry and bright with somebody to clean my bathroom and run the vaccum cleaner occasionally.

If somebody would come and pick up my clothes, I'd die in a rapture.

A few days or weeks ago I did solicit volunteers to fund my move to Manhatten - this housecleaning fund is also up for grabs if you don't know what to get me for Christmas.

Since my last post I managed to kind of, sort of get most stuff done. I still have more to do - but decided to not be frantic about it. I mean really? What is the point. I have had about 3 hours of sleep each night the last week and have bags under my eyes. In order to look at least halfway normal - I need to cut my losses and deal with not being perfect.

I am determined to enjoy the tree, smell the lovely Windsor Forest wafting thru the air and snuggle up to watch my Chrismas movies.

I still have shopping and wrapping to do.

I still have to finish knitting a whole scarf before Friday.

I still need to determine which salads I am contributing to the Feast on Christmas Eve.

But it will get done. It always does.

I must be more relaxed because of the sheer joy I had this week in watching my Capitals make a comeback.

Finally!

I had faith in my boys.

And in case you are not aware - tune into HBO for 24/7 to watch the Caps on the road to the Winter Classic. Who cares about that other damn team.

(I can't even type their retched name here - ugh)

I will admit - that the first show had my boys down and out - but the 35 seconds of Mike Green without his shirt on was heaven.

If Mike Green stood in front of me without a shirt on - another rapture. I'm just saying.

Don't Throw Me Down Clark

2010-12-08T21:19:00.003-05:00

Something is terribly wrong.

I am behind yet again.

Not a single Christmas Card written.

Not a single Christmas gift purchased.

I have not even finished decorating the tree.

I think I will be home on Saturday. Perhaps a miracle will happen and I will get it together.

What in the world happened to me?!?

I normally embrace the season starting November 1. But it turns out it is December 8th and I have lots of catching up to do.

Let's make a list shall we?

fill out christmas cards

address christmas cards

get stamps

get to the post office

buy gifts for at least the people I will see face to face.

finish decorating the tree - try not to have a bad attitude while doing it

watch all of my favorite Christmas movies - up to and including: It's A Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, Christmas Vacation, Elf, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, A Christmas Carol - the one from the 30's and The Godfather. Yes, The Godfather is a Christmas movie.

buy my Panetonne for Christmas Morning French Toast

ok, its not that bad.....i will end the dramatic moment.

I will call this year The Year of the Simple Christmas.

There are some moments to celebrate in early December:

My new haircolor is getting rave reviews.

I found the best new eye make up - smoky eyes are my new passion.

I am loving my new black boots. They are super sassy.

Project Ass Reduction is working so well my pants are falling off. While this does pose some problems - it is the ultimate goal.

I am learning new things every single day in my new job.

Lip swirls and lip butters......mmmmmmmmm

Spending time in NYC this December has been a highlight. I still want to move to Manhatten - but I am too poor. If anyone wants to sponsor my move there, please let me know.

I finally bought a warm coat and it has the softest pockets when you put your hands in them!

These are a few of my favorite things....

2010-11-26T21:01:00.007-05:00

I have a head full of random thoughts, and they are screaming to come out.

Most likely they have been induced by the lack of sleep and amount of overwork the last few days. I hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving. I did. The dinner conversation ran the gamut from Pat Tillman, to bed bugs, to Formula 1, to whore houses. I now have knowledge of whore houses that I never knew I would attain. I believe I mentioned in the last post how my family keeps me laughing. Anyway.....

Let me first begin by saying I am currently procrastinating. I have 2nd Thanksgiving to host tomorrow, my house is a disaster zone, my suitcases - plural - are still strewn throughout the rooms, I think I may have done laundry about 2 weeks ago, lets not even talk about the bathrooms and I still have lingering Halloween paraphernalia around. Including the leftover trick or treat candy. In a few short hours, I must transform the funk, set a lovely table and prepare a feast. I should be hard at work now....but too bad. I am avoiding it. I'll let myself freak out later. I choose to instead sit here and practice avoidance behavior.

Isn't 2nd Thanksgiving a great idea? It's named after 2nd Breakfast from The Lord of the Rings. We thought we were very clever when we adapted the term 2nd Breakfast to 2nd Thanksgiving. (Hobbits scare me, but in this case I find them amusing)

Why 2nd Thanksgiving you ask?

Well, a few reasons:

1. Cooking on Thanksgiving is hard to do with my work schedule. I certainly have cooked and hosted in years past, but then having to work at midnight amongst the crazy people, puts a damper on things. I like my wine and cocktails - and if I have to work, wine and cocktails are off the menu. And lets face it, not only can you not really relax, after hosting a feast, you are pooped!

2. I love to cook a turkey. And I cook a bitchin good turkey. It's true.

3. I love having turkey leftovers. Who doesn't? And going to someones house and taking their turkey leftovers seems wrong to me. You know that secretly at night they curse you under their breath because you left with the best leftovers. It's easier to just say, "no leftovers for me, I am hosting 2nd Thanksgiving and will have plenty of my own."

4. You get to have all of your favorite Thanksgiving side dishes that you may have missed out on during 1st Thanksgiving. (I am super excited about my cornbread sausage stuffing)

I am a bit disappointed that I have been avoiding normal duties. It's just that things have gotten in the way.

Like I prefer to come home and relax. Take a hot bath and dance around in my underwear over doing something horrible like dusting or picking up.

Speaking of dancing - I have been pretty well trapped and tied to the songs on my ipod. I have probably 1000 songs. I don't have much patience for radio, but last week, I had a rental car with satellite radio and became quite infatuated with Ke$ha. I am loving her sleazy little songs! I have added a few to my playlist now - and they seem to put an extra bounce into Project Ass Reduction. I am kind of a fan. Tik Tok!

I'm talking about everybody getting crunk, crunkBoys tryin' to touch my junk, junkGonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk

I also highly recommend Nelly's song Just a Dream. It is great and makes you get your groove on. i was thinkin about herthinkin about methinkin about uswhere we gunna beopen my eyes...it was only just a dreamso i travel back down that roadwish you come backno one knowsi realize, it was only just a dream

And that song Like a G6 is AWESOME! Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzardWhen we drink we do it right gettin slizzardSippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6Like a G6, Like a G6Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6. That is a badass hook.

And anything by Flo-Rida.

And yes, I like Katy Perry too. I want to be as pretty as her. I think I will add her to the list of people I want to be like when I grow up.

Wow, this was very revealing information. You are now very aware of the current songs I am singing loudly in my car. Obviously there has been a great deal of car dancing happening. You know what is on my ipod when I am on the stairmaster and pounding the pavement and dancing at home. I continue to be wowed by my own vocal stylings too. I seriously need to pursue my lounge singing career. I can sound like Johnny Cash singing Cocaine Blues or harmonize with Lenny Kravitz...(who by the way still records only on tape - he is anti digital - something about the reverb on tape) ....and it is unbelievable! If you thought that was Fergie singing with the Black Eyed Peas....check again, it was probably me you heard singing in my car. Someone call a producer and get to work on forming my one woman show.

I wish I was a 20something again and could justify liking bad top 40 music again and dancing in clubs all night long. I did enjoy dancing the night away with Jean Claude in New York. The gay Belgium photographer. It's fun to dance in gay clubs because everyone thinks you are pretty, wishes they had your boobs and the grabbing is completely non-threatening.

Getting old sucks.

Thus I resort to dancing in my underwear at home.

However, I was carded last week. Twice.

And not because I was buying wine at Wegman's where even if you are 98 you get carded.

I was having sushi with my parents and YOUNGER sister when the waitress didn't believe I was old enough to have the wine!

oh the sheer joy! i wanted to hug her! Arigatou - gozaimasu!

And then the next night, the hot waiter that looked like Michael Buble also questioned my age in order to have a glass of prosecco.

Umm, hello? Hot young michael buble waiter thinks I'm younger than him?

The Gods were smiling on me.

I am going back to that restaurant, sitting at his table again and tipping him big time.

But seriously - Santi is a great restaurant and I highly recommend it. The pappardelle makes me weak in the knees. (maybe even more than hot-young-michael-buble-waiter)

(and don't worry, My Mommy paid and I made sure she tipped hotty well)

Of course, my lovely sister had to point out that both of them were taking pity on the old lady at the table and probably trying to be kind to my feeble self.

Love you to Sis!

Ok, so lets wrap up the random that this post has become. Since we just talked about hot waiters - lets lead into my final obsession and joy.

Mike Green.

I know. You are sick of hearing about him.

But can I just tell you that it looks like I will be face to face with Mike Green #52 of the Washington Capitals in the very near future?!

OMG!

I know! I am freaking out with happiness and joy.

What if I actually get to touch him for a photo?!?!?

OMG!

He's like the ultimate man of my dreams......what a dish.

Let's just say that one of my best Christmas gifts ever includes some sort of backstage pass to the hockey player of my dreams. I don't have all the details....but they include live hockey players. I will be wrapped in #52 paraphernalia so they will be forced to humor the old lady and send him into see me.

(eew...I sound like a cougar!)

I will keep you posted.

Giving Thanks

2010-11-23T22:24:00.007-05:00

I'm Thankful that I am related to these people.

Fun times.

And all of them have great fashion sense and dance moves.

They all know how to have fun and not take themselves too seriously.

You know that if you are not related to me - you wish you were.

And of course - there is no denying why they crack me up.

Both sides of my family rock.

Shout out to the Boyle/Moyer/Cenci/Tanfani clans!

I'm thankful that I found this picture of my dad on his honeymoon in my grandparent's bible.

That's right.

It was in the family Bible.

My own first communion photo was shoved in a miscellaneous drawer - but this gem was tucked into the new testament.

Clearly, it was critical to document this moment and then share it with parents.

It gave me great joy and howls of laughter when I found it.

Love the sideburns dad.

I am thankful that I have great hair. I mean, c'mon.

I know, I complain about bad hair days - but my hair is great. Thanks in part to my family and my dad and mom's good genes. It takes color well and looks good in all lengths.

I'm also thankful for apples. I love the slices that are pre-done in the grocery store. I hate cutting apples and I hate the brown stuff. These are pre-cut and never turn brown.

Thankful for books - even though I am going to breakdown and get the kindle, I still love books surrounding me. Thankful for the Cats and Dogs in my life. In a year of lots of family pet tragedy - I'm glad they all brought us such joy. Thankful for Every Day I get to live and be happy, For the Friends and Family that fill my life. (and Edward Cullen) Thankful for God and Google. Thankful for Harry Potter. I hated the idea of Harry Potter - than I read it and now I am a woman possessed. Send me a message on my phone and the Harry Potter music plays. I'm thankful for India Hicks. She makes me smell good and keeps my skin soft. I'm thankful for J. Who invented the Bubble Room again?! I'm thankful for Kristen my fabulous sister. I'm thankful for Love. I get it everyday and am grateful beyond words. I'm thankful for Men. You guys make the world so much fun. I'm thankful for Naps. And appreciate every single one I get to take. Whether it be stretched out in the sun or curled up under a blanket. I'm thankful for Opinions. I love to give them and love to hear them. Thanks for sharing this year. I'm thankful for Prayers that are answered. I'm thankful for Quiet moments. Goodness knows I cherish them. I'm thankful for the Rack. Thank you Nordstrom for putting big feet shoes in your stores. I'm thankful for Smart people. I'm thankful for Time. It's nice to be here and enjoying this crazy world. I'm thankful for Underwear. Most especially spanx on special occasions. I'm thankful for visits to my favorite places, xtra time with people I love and that Zumba exists.

Don't forget to count your own blessings!

And thanks for being one of mine this year!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Fascinating Fall Facts

2010-11-15T21:08:00.003-05:00

It has not been a blogging year for me.

That is really too bad.

I enjoy my blog and usually manage to crack myself up. And if nobody else reads it.....

At least I think I'm funny.

But what is really funny is my recent discovery of people that search for and end up at my blog.

It cracks me up!

People I don't know come and read this stuff!

Some of my most favorite posts are the most searched and read.

and the irony is - if you read the search words, you could almost write my biography. It has that which I love, and that which I most fear. (JELLO)!!!! oh the horror!

check out these search phrases:

green jello brain waves

do you renounce satan

kelly cutrone love spit love

love spit love kelly cutrone

santa cleopatra

michael francis rizzi

best selling jello flavor

jello

love.spit.love kelly cutrone

michael do you renounce satan

I am also wildly popular in Russia and Estonia. who knew?

Halloween!

2010-10-30T16:01:00.004-04:00

I am feeling super nostalgic this Halloween.

I just returned from a few days in the town I spent my 'trick or treat' years.

It was awesome to be there on Halloween week and recall the nights spent trick or treating in good ole Delaware Park!

The leaves were crunchy under my feet, the houses close together and going thru the neighborhood reminded me of how big the world can feel to a child. In reality - it is just a small subdivision in a small north east town.

But oh the memories!

Waiting eagerly for Mom to get home from work so we could hit the streets! Oh the agony of the 5:15pm arrival home - each year I was convinced I was going to miss all the fun.

The joy of my plastic oblong pumpkin - it served me well for years as a treat collector.

Running thru the streets with all of the kids - shouting to one another about the house that was giving FULL size candy bars!

I can recall the houses that gave out the good stuff. One house always gave out bags of cheese puffs - my addicition to cheetos no doubt began with that yellow house.

The wonderful lady that made homemade donuts and served apple cider! The donuts always fresh and warm and the cold apple cider!

The creepy dude that wore a stocking over his face and wouldn't let you out of his house until he had properly terrified you.

The kids in their awful and tacky 70's costumes - this site cracked me up - check it out for a thowback look.

My pride at my Mom's homemade costumes she made every year. No plastic outfits and masks for us! We roamed the streets as leopards, witches, prarie girls, witches and pandas.

Hating it when Mom made us put on a coat over our costumes!

Marveling at the carved pumpkins and the smell of the cold wind!

Scaring ourselves in the dark.

And the joy of coming home with a load of treats. Mom and Dad sorting thru the loot and making sure Dad had his favorite candies from our bags....(candies we thought were dreadful - like licorice)

It seems silly to think that kids today won't have the same wonderful memories - I am sure they will - I guess it just makes me feel better to recall how wonderful we had it.

Happy Halloween!
Boo!

Bye Cappie....we love you.

2010-10-12T16:22:00.003-04:00

My little doggie 'sister' had to be put down last night.

She had cancer and was very weak.

Cappie has been my dog sister for 15 years now.

Even though I lived far away - we remained close.

My human sister and I always knew Mom loved her best.

(and how could we blame her?)

Cappie never kept a messy room.

Cappie always listened.

Cappie never talked back.

Cappie never tattled.

Cappie always cleaned her plate. (and everyone else's.)

Cappie never made fun of Mom's outfits or decorating choices.

Cappie was the best dog sister I could have had.

And because I know Cappie is in heaven, I am going to do my best to make it there one day to see her again.

"yes" man no more...(woman)

2010-08-25T21:45:00.002-04:00

Today I said No.

I said "no" many times and I feel fantastic.

It's even better when you say No, when you usually would have said Yes.

A yes that would make you grit your teeth and mumble swear words and wish death upon the person that made you say yes when all you really wanted to do was say no.

Sweet victory.

Baby steps of sweet victory.

Gross

2010-08-19T13:32:00.003-04:00

Gross. I love this word.

If I was back in my college speech class, I am sure the instuctor would say I use the word 'gross' way to often. It is the ultimate oral filler in my conversations.

Usually, when I hear something that leaves me nearly speechless...."gross" seems to be my 'go to' response.

In my mind - the term sums up all that is vulgar, crude and leaves me with a tension headache.

When you define gross -

you learn it is an adjective.

1. without deductions

2. flagrant, extreme

3. disgusting

4. very fat or large

however, it is also a noun.

1. the total amount before deductions

2. twelve dozen

I don't use the noun form often. I never ordered a gross of anything. I may have considered it - Oriental Trading Co is filled with grosses to order.

But truthfully - that is just way too many things.

I decided that the definition of gross in my head is not done justice by a dictionary.

When I say gross - the implications are far more extreme than disgusting.

even in all of it's other incarnations - gross is more of a feeling than a simple definition.

overgross, ungross, grossly, overgrossly, grossness, overgrossness, outgross.

The thesaus reveals words that trip me out - adipose, lumpish, porcine, boorish, ribald, scatological....now we are talking dirty! barnyard, callous, carnal, cheap, coarse, corporeal, crass, dull, fleshly, foul, impure, in the gutter, indecent, inelegant, lewd, loudmouthed, low, rank, raunchy, raw, rough, sleazy, smutty, swinish, tasteless, ugly, uncouth......

Now I feel better.

That sums up gross.

Gross.

Cujo and other Summertime Reading Selections

2010-08-03T21:02:00.006-04:00

I have had an eclectic mix of books read this summer.

It is safe to say, that in the last 10 years of my adulthood, I have kept a mix of books by the bedside that did not fall into any one category or author overload.

I tend to mock people that only read Nora Roberts for example. (sorry if you like them)

Back in December - I was opting back and forth about purchasing a Kindle. I am sort of a geek for books - If I had to guess, I would say it is one area that I spend the most of my entertainment money on.

So when considering the Kindle - it was merely from a cost savings perspective.

I also thought that the idea of carrying a Kindle instead of multiple massive books in my suitcase when I travel for work would help lighten my load considerably.

But after much consideration - it all came back to the fact that I am a 'geek for books'.

Real books, the kind with paper, colors, pictures, paper, font.....all the comfort that comes from holding a book.

So, I talked myself out of the need for the Kindle.

Fast forward to July.

I hear that I can download the Kindle app on my phone.

It's a free download so why not check it out? Give it a whirl?

I also downloaded the Nook app from Barnes and Noble - why not compare the two.

So with the download I now need a book to read.

I decide that I don't want to spend a lot of money - so I'll download something I have already read.

What do I choose?

Cujo

1. it was cheap 2. it was short - perfect for my Kindle trial.

Oh how the memories came flooding back as I read this book again.

I think it was the first Stephen King book I ever read.

I think I read it for the first time in the Summer as a young teenager.

I remember thinking it was full of scandal because the mom had an affair.....and he was a bad boy.

I recalled almost immediately that once I read my first Stephen King book - that was all I was reading.

Then I read my first Sidney Sheldon book - that was all I was reading.

(Hello?! The Other Side of Midnight?! Possibly one of the best trash novels of all time - but I think at the time I thought it was mature high class reading - I mean, didn't Sidney Sheldon do screenwriting for Hart to Hart?!)

Then I read my first Danielle Steel book - that was all I was reading.

Ugh.....I am so ashamed of my formulaic approach to reading as a young adult!

Horror, sex, mystery, sex, romance disguised as trash sex.

Why were my parents not monitoring my reading?

Anyway - I got off course here.

So I read Cujo with great joy actually.

First - 25+ years later, It was not exactly how I remembered.

I did keep flashing to the fact that my parents had a Pinto - just like the one Donna and Tad were trapped in.

We also had a dog that slobbered a great deal.

(Most likely I had slobber on me in this picture and was wiping it off with my sleeve)

Trapped in a hot car with even the thought that dog slobber would get on me is enough of a horror story for me today.

The Nook offering I selected was Bram Stoker's Dracula.

1. it was free 2. it is a classic - and I try to read one "classic" each summer.

Dracula is not rocking my world like Cujo.

Maybe it's because it doesn't have a Pinto in it.

I also don't like the Nook app.....but I have not finished it yet....so I will hold judgement until later.

So at the end of this what have I learned?

I still like real books I can hold, even if they are heavy.

I am glad that my reading runs the gamut of titles now.

I still do like a good trashy read with sex in it.

I won't mock people that read the same author over and over again.....a good one is sometimes hard to find.

Erotomania and Spanish Swear Words

2010-07-30T15:21:00.003-04:00

God knows where this post is going to go.

But 2 things have been on my mind this week - so clearly they are screaming out for me to comment on in some public forum.

1. I am obsessed with why or how women can let themselves be so delusional about love.

2. I am obsessed with my new habit of swearing in Spanish.

So let's begin.

I know this woman. She is by all accounts a normal person - late 30's, able to see most things for what they are.

Yet, she is in the worst relationship I have ever witnessed.

She is actually under the delusion that the man she is with loves her and wants to marry her.

From what I gather - here are the facts of the relationship

dating or 'seeing' each other for 10 years (mainly for the booty call)

she has never actually been to his home

he has never actually been to her home

claims to have a job that takes him 'out of the country often' (i call that a wife at home)

promises the world and delivers nothing

Promises have included:

we are going on vacation next week

I am taking you away for the weekend

I am building us a house to live in

we are getting married!

This is what happens instead:

I have to go to Pakistan next week after all

He stops all contact with her and calls her the following Tuesday

You'll never believe it, they put in the wrong color floor tile, so I told them I wanted a refund on the house

He stops all contact with her and calls her the following Tuesday, it turns out he had to go to Pakistan again.

After 10 years of the same bull - how can this woman not wake up? Are you that down on yourself? Is your self esteem that bad?

The worst is the wedding thing. In the last 2 years, he has promised to take her to Hawaii for a get away wedding.

The first time, he printed some BS off the internet and gave it to her.

He cancelled.

A few months later, he told her he couldn't stand her and only saw her for the sex.

A few weeks later, he called her, got his booty call and then gave her a ring.

A ring that in my opinion looked bogus.

He asked for it back to have it sized (i think it went back in his wifes jewelry box)

She goes out, buys a gown, has it altered, buys all the crap that goes with it and packs her bags for Hawaii again. Keep in mind, she never sees a ticket or any confirmation that a trip is happening.

True to form, the jerk stops all contact with her and never shows up. No calls, no texts, no nothing.

And she continues to believe there is a reasonable explanation. She just doesn't get it. I get it, why doesn't she? Even at my most pitiful, I don't think I could ever let anyone be that cruel to me. When I googled 'delusion in love' the word Erotomania came up.

That is totally her. I love that there is a word for it. He may not be a celebrity - but anyone that is that disinterested in you should count.

In retrospect, as stupid as I have been in the past with my own delusions of love and relationships - I do feel grateful that I never took a nose dive like that. Yikes.

Pendejo!

Cabron!

Hijo de la madre chingada!

Sangrones!

Ok, I feel better now. I love the Biography on Frida Kahlo that I am currently reading. And now that I have new swear words to use - I am feeling even more international.

Keeping Calm, Cool and Collected......

2010-07-23T18:13:00.003-04:00

Have you ever seen the book of questions?

It is an awesome book that ask hard and profound questions that are supposed to make you think, spur good conversation and basically make you question your ethics.

The other day, my sister read one of the questions to me out loud.

"If you could live for one year in any time period, when would it be."

I immediately responded, "well, it would have to be a period when air conditioning was around".

We both cracked up laughing because that has been my obsession this year.

How did people live without air conditioning?

Of course I realize I am being shallow and not environmentally conscious with my love of ac.

But as with most modern conveniences, I can't imagine life without it.

Admittedly, this year has been odd for weather......super arctic winter followed by super heat summer. (did I mention it is 105 in Northern VA today?)

Follow that up with my reading mostly biographies this summer and it spurned my wonderment at living in the 16th, 17th, 18th, 19th even 20th century without cool air.

Poor Sally Hemmings. She had to be a slave and give birth to Thomas Jefferson's kids.....all the while living in Monticello with no ac and having to dress in corsets and wool.

It is flippin hot. Even when they were in Paris for two years, the one summer was the warmest on record. It had to be ripe.

You know that TJ was not smelling good with his wigs and wool ensembles either.

Poor Abigail Adams. She had to put up with raising all her kids with a war raging at the front door while John was in Philadelphia. The poor lady didn't even have pins to pin her dress up! I know.....at least John and his funky wig was in Philadelphia - but still.

Poor Frida Kahlo. She had no AC when she miscarried her baby in DETROIT in JULY. And she had to come home to Diego Rivera. All funky with sweat and covered in paint. Yes she was a tortured soul, lots of tragedy in her life, yada yada......but I am just guessing that a bit of ac would have at least given the poor woman some pleasure.

I don't know how the millions of people on the planet do it still.

I have great appreciation for those who must go without and much gratitude that I am not one of them.

If you need to find me this weekend, I will be sitting in a cool dark room with a good book.

Pasty with Pringles Poolside

2010-07-22T13:59:00.005-04:00

Whoa!

Where has the summer gone?

I have been full of bad attitude and swimming in family togetherness (both forced and welcomed) - but did take some time to indulge in some nice summer moments so far.

I know we still have August - but August tends to be a blur. When you are a kid August is the crap month because school is starting - as a grown up, it's crap for me because there is not one single national holiday and I usually have to do inventory somewhere.

Doing inventory is like being in math class for me. Math anxiety and OCD that make me recount everything 7 times.

Anyway.....I am happy to report that I actually managed to spend some time in the sun relaxing. Instead of my normal paste colored white, I am now more porcelain. But for me, that's a tan baby!

I rediscoved the joy of the swimming pool this summer.

It has definately helped me to re-charge and relax.

I also rediscovered the joy of a tin of Pringles.

There is nothing like sun warmed Pringles munched by the pool.

Yum.

I had a childhood regression as I recalled my Dad picking me up from KinderCare and taking me to Virginia Beach. I believe we ate cold fried chicken and pringles.

What the hell are Pringles anyway?

is that even a potato?

To me they are like the perfect chip.

They are never broken and never greasy.

Just goodness in a can. For $1.49 how can you go wrong?

Awesome.

Old Time Family Togetherness

2010-06-01T14:07:00.005-04:00

Last week was tough. It was tough because it was full on family time.
Last week, as a family, we had to confront some tough issues with my Grandfather's recent Alzheimer's diagnosis. I'd be lying if I said it went well.
That side of the family (mom's) is not so good at the communicating and caring and sharing aspect of togetherness.

For the first time I found myself truly frustrated with how the family unit works on that side.
Dr. Phil, we need you!

Luckily, we were able to escape briefly.....since my Dad was in town, my sister and I asked him to take us on a tour of "New Village".....the little borough in NJ he grew up in.
I thought it would be a great way to step away from the tension that was ever present in the house with my Mom's family.

Dad, Sis and I set out on our tour.....we joked that the tour would probably end in 5 minutes...because there is not much to see......but happily, it turned out to be a great day.
Dad showed us the house our Great Grandparents lived in with him, his brother, sister and parents. We saw the little duplexes where family and friends lived in close proximity, the bar that my grandparents owned, heard about the attempt to flood the basketball court one year in order to ice skate, saw the creek they would 'ride the rapids' in, the rock where they spit out licorice to kill caterpillars....it was awesome!
As we were leaving to drive to Alpha, home of my Nonnie's parents - we decided to stop in and visit my Uncle Nelson. He still lives in the same house my great grandparents lived in. At one time the tiny house had 10 people living in it!
It puts in perspective the agony I thought I was experiencing being in my own grandparents home with no air conditioning and only one bathroom.

I had not been in the house since I was a little girl. Most likely around the time that Nonnie Alpha died.....( i asked my Dad why we called her Nonnie Alpha......he said, duh, because she lived in Alpha)
I got chills when I walked in and saw the photo on the wall. Just how I remembered it! But I also remembered the photo above used to hang in the house too. I don't think I was delusional - Maybe someone can confirm if Nunu and Nonnie Tanfani's photo used to hang in the house too...?
Anyway.......it was so nice to spend the afternoon visiting and talking about family. Talking about how hard life was for these people that came from Italy and left so much behind.
Hearing my uncle remember his mother's voice and accent.....She arrived when she was 3 years old and spent her formative years in Mississippi.....he described her italian/english/southern drawl as something truly unique!

He teared up as he recalled my own Grandmother (his sister) and the sacrifices she made for her family.

Our visit left me feeling refreshed, revived and happy. I suppose I needed some of these ghosts to remind me of what family is.

Family can be demanding, challenging, make you want to scream......but in the end, always there for you.

Share the Air...................please!

2010-05-26T14:47:00.007-04:00

You know things are bad when your own whining and complaining can irritate yourself.

I can barely stand to be in a room with myself right now.

Consider yourselves one of the lucky ones to not be physically in my proximity.

I am irritating myself with my bad attitude.

It seems that just about everyone around me is mad at me. (another story for another time)

It is so darn hot - I feel like I am back in Florida again - and as we all know - those were not good times. (I spent 3 years in a constant state of misery - all weather related)

I'm sure I can get over the bad attitude - I know the fact that I don't feel well is just making me irritable and my own drama and martyrdom is not improving anything.

I can get over it.

What I can't get over is the lack of AC.

This is precisely the reason that I hate, hate, hate coming to New Jersey for visits in warm weather.

For some unknown reason, my grandparents insist on not cooling the house down.

It is modern times for cripes sake!

Put in some window units!

Crank that cool air up!

(And it's not because they are cold old people. They complain about the heat too!)

This is a terrible thing to say - but, it's not like I don't say terrible things - so let's not be too shocked.

But, hello...........it's time to 'share the air'

My grandparents have a window unit in their bedroom.

But the gem is, that even though the upstairs is teeny tiny really........they close the bedroom door and hog the cool air at night!

Meanwhile, the guests get to cool their own body temperature down with body sweat and the wisp of air that may or may not decide to come in thru the open window.

Then you wonder why I have a bad attitude.

Last night I snuck into the bedroom to just feel cool air on my skin for a scant second.......then went to lay on the floor downstairs. (Are we shocked that I have a sore throat? Wet underwear on week, sleeping on the floor in the stifling heat the next)

I felt like a dog in summer that spreads out on the kitchen floor to cool off.

(yes, it worked)

I have begun counting down the days until I go home again.

It is 6 days.

6 days until I can blast my own central air all day and night and walk around in a sweater indoors.

6 days until I can blow dry my hair again and not need to shower afterward to cool down.

6 days until I can feel comfortable in my own skin again.

6 days until I can get a good nights sleep.

I live for the modern conveniences air conditioning brings.

I may head out on the street to see if I can find an HVAC dude to talk compressors to me......

Monthly Mis-haps.....

2010-05-16T12:37:00.006-04:00

In the future, when you are planning on inviting me to a nice event......can you please consider the time of the month for me?

As you are aware, most things are about my own convenience.

I nearly flipped out yesterday. I tried on the dress I was planning on wearing to the wedding next week.

Last week, it was nearly there.....a few more "Project Ass Reduction" sessions and we were going to be good to go.

Nice.....the bloat has now nixed that idea.

I went into full on panic mode.

I went thru the closet and pulled out dress after dress.

To fancy, not fancy enough, to casual, possibly not working if it is cool, icky to wear if it is hot......

Aggh!

So I then decided to go out and try on some NEW dresses.

Never do this when you are hormonal and bloated.

I stood in a dressing room surrounded by mirrors in a state of full on depression.

Top that with the fact that I was not having a good hair day and no make up.

I convinced myself to NOT buy anything new. I have a closet full of clothes.....some with tags still on them.

I came home and after much debate....decided on one.

Then I did a trial run thru with hair and makeup and accessories. What a difference it makes when you run a comb thru your hair and put on some makeup!

I am bucking my own trend and going for the blue eyeshadow. Que horror horror!

But I am tired of being muted brown.....I think I am starting to be inspired by all the 40something fabulous looking people...they are bucking the beauty trend...so why not me? I can flippin wear blue eyeshadow if I want to.

Totally random interjection here - I don't watch that Showtime Toni Collette show - but she looks fabulous now! Don't you agree? Such a good example of how beauty can come with time...another female inspiration for me and my bad image issues.

anyway...

The dress is perfect because it will hide the bloat.

And I think still be appropriate for the event.

I am going with the cream in the center with the blue wrap - I just felt the red - which I love - is just to 'cocktail'

My only dilemma will be the mix of accessories - but lucky for me....I can torture my Mom and sister with those decisions on the day of. bwah ha ha!

My plan this week is to continue my green tea regimen and the cardio.

I'm pissed that I am not full on back in shape.

The full on PMS bloat in the full length mirror assault did not help - but I know that I have let stress and winter eating leave me in less than optimal strength and fitness.

So I have decided to add in some new elements to "PAR".

It also ties in well to my ultimate goal of my "Bollywood Musical" appearance.

I want to take some Indian Dance classes.

It looks like I can convince my friend Michelle to do it with me too.

Michelle is one of those friends that is game for anything, anywhere and anytime.

I have 83 "bollywood" songs on my ipod.

Isn't that a trip?

So truly - this is meant to be.

I mean really.......I will have no excuse to not tune in and start busting into my 'bollywood' moves no matter where I am!

My New Guru.....Kelly Cutrone

2010-05-13T20:12:00.007-04:00

Ok, I know!

You are probably over the whole "obsession with Kelly Cutrone" thing.

But this is getting to be so awesome for me.

I totally embraced "the Cutrone" last week.

I went 'balls to the wall' and have never felt better.

I am still embracing my own nice energy......"my own calm strong quiet energy"

but when pushed, look out!

I bought Kelly's book on Sunday.

It was time to mix up the bedside reading...(which of late was a bit heavy)..and while I must admit....I am still just at the beginning....I am already inspired.

Kelly described her first and most successful PR event.

An art exhibit called "Love.Spit.Love" in 1991.

It essentially involved 3 couples (gay, straight, etc) having sex in the middle of this gallery with an American flag on the wall while love songs from the 50's thru 90's played in the background.

Whoa! I totally remembered this!

And why? Because the couples were on Phil Donohue!

I vividly recall 2 episodes of Phil from the 90's

this one of course!

and the one with the cast of Dead Poets Society.

(romantic poets, an all boys prep school and teen angst....what was there not to love about DPS?!?)

Both clearly had a profound impact on my life.

I can recall all the couples being naked on Phil's show! How shocking for 1991!

The one couple had a man with this beautiful long hair and the palest skin - and the woman was like the female equal......I remember being stunned by how beautiful they were.

Are you all seeing what I am seeing? Even back in 1991 Kelly was having an impact on me.

She must be my guru!

Kelly has a guru.

this is her.

I don't know that I will be able to be that into it.....It could be I am nearing cult like following of Kelly now.

Stay tuned.

Mom Made It Happen

2010-05-07T22:58:00.009-04:00

I have a fondness for myself that perhaps borders on narcissiscm.

I can't help it. I like me.

Do I perhaps need therapy? Could I dig a bit deeper into the psyche to find out why I do what I do? Sure!

But at the end of the day, I am really happy with the person I am.

I only have a handful of people to thank for that....and Mom is one of them.

(that's me in there!------------------------------>)

I have a closeness to my Mom that I feel is very special - mainly because for the first few years of me - it was just the two of us.

And let's face it.....we were both kids. My mom 22 and me a newborn.

She spent her early 20's with a baby,toddler, and a preschooler......Dad was off in the Navy....gone for months at a time. We were on our own.

Because of this, I think Mom and I became each other's best friend.
Every early memory is of Mom.

She has even told the story of my birth so much....that I felt like I was a witness to the whole thing!

It is as if my own birth was my first memory......all thanks to the memories of my Mom.

I was an overdue baby.

I was also huge. 9lbs 8oz If memory serves.

Mom was scheduled to have a C-section because I didn't seem to be coming anytime soon

(i always do prefer to do things on my own timeline)

She had plans to visit my Dad's family for her favorite dinner, my Grandmother made a cheese and mushroom stuffed chicken breast that Mom loved.

Unfortunately, labor started and she had to miss dinner to go to the hospital.

She was pissed.

(isn't it nice that she let's me know all these years later that the very first thing I did....pissed her off)

In 1972, Mom was a bit naive.

When her water broke in the hospital, she was mortified.

1. she had no idea what just happened - she thought she peed herself

2. her own mother was an OB nurse in the hospital (maybe a little motherly advice about the birthing process was in order here Nan?)

3. on top of her mother being there, so was her aunt, and my dad's aunt - all OB nurses - and all there to witness the wonder of wonders that was to be my birth!

Mom was also pissed because my Dad was not there. He was on a ship in the middle of the Mediterranean. I can't imagine being alone, in pain and you just wet yourself in front of everyone.

The next bit of the story is hazy - I don't know why or how, but Mom does not really recall the birth.

And now, she says giving birth is no big deal....she doesn't even remember it hurting.

!?!?!?!??!??!?!??!?!??!

You just pushed out a 9lb+ baby and don't remember?

Maybe there was a benefit to having relatives in the hospital. Maybe they were able to give you a little something to take the edge off.

shhhhh...we won't say a word. But it now seems possible Nan and Aunt Tina were dealing to pregnant women.

When I was born, out I came and everyone exclaimed over what a beautiful baby I was.

I know this, because my cousin Sandra was a candy striper in the same hospital at the time - and still says I was the prettiest baby ever. (our family was running that hospital)

"It's a girl!" "isn't she beautiful?" "look at how pretty"

My mother's reaction?

"eeeewww......that's what you call beautiful? she's ugly"

So let's recap.

First, I get in trouble for making her miss her favorite dinner.

Second, I am ugly.

Lucky for me - with the gaggle of grandma's, nonna's and aunts around - they whisked me off to my first photo shoot, so overcome with my beauty.

I am not kidding - there are about 20 different versions of newborn baby photos taken of me.

In some I am naked (like this one), in some I have on a shirt, some are close ups, most have me looking pissed.

No doubt because my own Mother has just called me ugly and now they are photographing me like the paparazzi getting the reaction shot from some down and out washed up celebrity whose mother has just written a tell all.

(aren't flashes bad for baby eyes?)

All these years my Mom blamed my poor vision on reading under the covers with a flashlight....hhhmmm

I spent my childhood years pouring over the album of photos of that day and the days that followed, asking Mom questions and having her retell the stories.

Looking at Mom in the hospital bed with me inside her!

Looking with horror at the awful, ugly baby that came out.....horrified by the umbilical cord! gross!

More relieved to see the photos with shirts.

Looking at my Grandparents holding me - none of them with gray hair.

Seeing my Great Grandparents holding me - my only real memories of one of them from photos.

My uncles and aunts - some so young they were still in high school......

And the best part of that album - the photos of mom holding me with the biggest smile....and me, finally looking not so ugly.

I love you Mom ~ thanks for making the best memories!

Love,

Netterboo

Who the hell is Justin Bieber?

2010-05-06T22:56:00.003-04:00

This kid is flippin everywhere.
Yet I have no earthly idea who he is.
Just seeing his picture and wacky hair makes me not want to dig deeper.
I tried to read the wikipedia info - but found myself reading it like this........
"Justin Bieber is a blah blah blah blah singer. Blah blah blah You Tube blah....."
You get the point.
This kid looks like boring white bread.
His hair is annoying.....(i'm sorry - I can't get past the bad hairdo.)
He looks 12 and gets more press than anyone - but apparently really bad press, because normal people still don't know what he does or the who the hell he is.

I did appreciate the comments left by some of you:

I got the impression he was the New Jesus
Melissa is just pissed he met the President
Carla - like myself has no clue......(and she has kids! so I was hoping a few modern moms would enlighten me!

At the end of the day - I did manage to get that he sings songs called "Baby" "One Time" "Love Me" "Favorite Girl"

If I do word association - it sounds like he is a male teeny bopper version of Britney Spears.

(i think i did just throw up a little in my mouth)

Who the hell is Justin Bieber? Who the hell cares.

New and Improved!

2010-05-06T00:08:00.008-04:00

The extras are really what it's all about.

I have added some "extras" to the panel on the left.

<------------------ yeah, over there.

I have a fondness for lists.

I make lists all the time. For work, for home - you name it.....

I find them months later falling out of magazines, under the refrigerator, stuck in the re-usable grocery bag.

I love lists!

Even when I finish things on a list, I seem to keep them around for awhile.

The awesome thing about a blog - is that I can keep all kinds of lists.

So I have added some for your enjoyment - but mainly for my enjoyment.

It's my blog world - and the 3 of you that actually read this are in it.

I have tried since starting this blog in 2007 to keep a list of the books I keep on my bedside and then a list of books I finally finished.

I keep a list of blogs I like to read etc....

So, I was thinking how my sister always mocks me for saying things like ' oh my gosh, that is my favorite......'

So I have added a list of current favorites. I'll keep adding and deleting as I change my fickle little head.

I added a list of the people I want to be when I grow up.

I also added a list of things to do before I die. This is a serious list - and deserves more contemplation. But the first 'to do' is really a great one.

The makers of Slumdog Millionaire missed a great opportunity in not casting me in the "Jai Ho" finale. I'm just saying.....

Mean People That Rock

2010-05-04T11:53:00.006-04:00

As a general rule, I think I am a nice person.

True, I may talk smack about some people - but in general I am nice.
I don't like to make people feel bad. I don't like to lower self esteem.....or take cheap shots.
I like everyone to feel equal, appreciated and respected.

The only time I lose it is if:

I flat out don't like you - I can't even be fake about people that bother me or do stupid things.
You have chosen to take advantage of my niceness....game over.

As a boss, I think I am really nice.
Perhaps too nice sometimes.
Maybe I need to toughen up a bit.

I was reflecting that my 2 new favorite people on reality TV are Jeff Lewis and Kelly Cutrone.
Why?
Because they are mean.

I howl with laughter at the bluntness, the rudeness, the take no prisoners attitude.
When I grow up, I want to be just like them.
Probably more Kelly Cutrone than Jeff.

The Fabulous Kelly Cutrone:

A. Kelly lives in Manhatten.

B. Kelly basically wears the same outfit everyday and nobody mocks her. Black on Black on Black (aka Versace on Gucci on Chanel) yet it all looks a hot mess and I think she never combs her hair. I can get into that modern day "mean persona" its like Cruella DeVille only different.

C. Kelly hires mainly interns which has to keep her overhead low and allows her to abuse the most amount of people for the cheapest amount of money. Genius! These people want to work for her and the verbal abuse that Kelly gets to inflict is just a bonus for her! Talk about keeping workplace tension in check! If I could do that - I would not have neck spasms and need to do evening yoga while listening to buddhist chants every night.

D. Kelly used her first husband to gain a name that would help her go places. If I had a first husband that was famous, I like to think I would have exploited him for his connections. Of course, because I am nice - that never would have happened. (by the way - I am totally speculating on this - this is my own theory Kelly!)

E. Kelly works in a job that allows her to still talk like a teenager. "I mean....." "like" I love that shit.

F. Kelly admits that working with gorgeous people is awesome - I love that she embraces the shallow.

I am like, totally willing to take a job as a PR intern for People's Revolution.....and I will not cry, and I can print labels.

Jeff Lewis - if you compare the two - they are fairly similar.

But there are some differences. The main reasons I want to be like Jeff are as follows.

A. Jeff is really clean. I wish I could be that neat and perfect - yes he has a staff of about 20 that run his household - but he pitches in!

B. Jeff hires mainly interns - see notes above - Kelly Cutrone C.

C. Jeff works in a job that allows him to talk like a teenager - see notes above Kelly Cutrone E.

D. Jeff admits that working with gorgeous people is awesome - see notes above Kelly Cutrone F.

Ok - so I have now figured out that I basically want to be just like Kelly only without the messy hair and wrinkled clothes - I think I am seeing the Jeff Lewis connection!

A Tragedy of Epic Proportions.....

2010-05-03T16:24:00.003-04:00

Ok, not really.....but it felt that way last Wednesday.

My boys lost in game 7 to the team seeded 8th.

Um hello.....we were #1!

We had the highest offensive scoring, best penalty kill and best power play. But like someone said.....that don't mean s#%t in the playoffs.

I am trying to learn to control my hockey angst.

It is hard.

I am certainly not over it. I have begun to stick pins and needles into a stuffed Penguin.

Anything but the Penguins winning. Please.

So now that hockey has ended a bit prematurely - it is time to look forward the the other joys of Spring and Summer.

Allergies, spring cleaning and hot weather.

Indeed, that it the true tragedy here.

This year has been brutal with the pollen. And the fact that the temperatures have hit nearly 90 the last few days puts me in a foul mood. (it was almost like living in Florida again)

The two combined allow me to avoid the spring cleaning as I whine and complain about not feeling good and not having my boys to watch in the playoffs anymore.

Moving forward, no more excuses.

I need to lose a few pounds to fit my fat butt into a dress I need to wear in a few weeks.

I don't want to buy anything new - and this dress is new, I just never wore it and now my ass has expanded without my permission.

I have been doing 'yoga' light excercises - but know it is time to hit the cardio hard again.

Remember "Project Ass Reduction"?

me neither.

It is a bit vague now - but PAR works.

I must recommit.

Who's with me?

Nothing like posting progress photos - but I think I need to get to the progress photos that are not so humiliating. If I could get back to this.....we would have nothing to complain about.

C'mon Greenie

2010-04-21T13:37:00.006-04:00

I can't watch my boys beat the Habs tonight.

I won't be able to give my normal good juju to my boyfriend Mike.

Isn't he handsome?

I'm totally bummed.

So let's put this out to the universe,

"Greenie will get a goal tonight"

"the Caps will win tonight"

"Greenie will get a goal tonight"

Thanks for your help with this critical matter.

Trying hard to carry on.....

2010-04-20T15:10:00.003-04:00

As if.....
As if anyone wants to come here and hear me whine about my problems.
Because my problems annoy me - even I have been avoiding putting them down.

It has not been an easy couple of months.....it is safe to say that the last 6 months have been a bit on the brutal side.
Unemployment, money woes, family pressures and stress, work stress and pressure. Finally a few of the worries have resolved themselves. I am doing my best to resurface and regain my normal routine. No need to hyperventilate in the closet or hide under the covers in deep depression.

The household income went from 2 to 1 - and I was in full on panic mode. Happily - the other half is working again....and we are beginning to re-surface to almost normal.
I never knew how stressful money could be until you have less of it than normal. (and my normal is less anyway)

The funny part is, I have always gauged my finacial stability by how many rolls of toilet paper I had under the bathroom sink.
When I was in college - I seemed to never have an extra roll - I would literally wait to buy it until the last square was clutching onto the cardboard roll.
As a grown up - I have consistently had at least 6 rolls under there.
When 2 paychecks became one - I was lucky to have one roll extra. I never ran out! But not the stability of the 6 pack.

Happily - there are 4 rolls under the sink today. So really, things could be a lot worse.

Laying Low and Knitting

2010-01-23T10:08:00.012-05:00

It has been a quiet couple of months for me. I have been shying away from most technology mainly due to the stress level of work.

When I come home, I have been trying to tune out.

The tune out process has left me out of the loop, I don't always know my current events, I am behind on reading all my favorite blogs, Facebook is a land I visit not so often anymore....I miss my online routine, but apparently not enough to make time for it. I can blame it on the weather too.....It is much cozier to have a lapful of yarn and a Woody Allen movie on in the background than to cuddle up to the screen of my computer. Thus.....my winters work!!!!!!

I managed to knit hats for all my female managers.....I completed 9 of those. I was trying to be fiscally responsible, yet wanted them to know I care.....they were a great success! What girl doesn't need a slouchy beret?!I made myself an awesome, weird hat that looks like this....note the tattered hair and tired woman wearing it......the glass head makes a much better statement, but I appreciate the weariness the actual human head shows...I love this hat, it is super warm and really funky. Some might hate it......but I don't really give a crap. I think it rocks.

I made an afghan that tooks weeks during the holidays...I obsessed on it as I learned new techniques and tried my best to keep the cats away from it.....but Bebe loves it and lives on it now.(It horrifies me when the cats lay on stuff I made.....But really, we just live in their world anyway.)

And finally, I am baby knitting for some friends. I made this yoda hat and matching sweater.....My friend is having twins, so that means two more to go! Knitting these two items convinced me that if I ever have my own baby - they will wear sweaters like this....nothing with choo-choo's and froggies or duckies, but awesome duds like this.

Jolasveinar Make Me Happy

2009-12-19T12:12:00.004-05:00

Clueless and Delusional.

These words describe me perfectly this week.

Somehow I missed the news that a major snowstorm was coming this way.

My mind has been on other things. Mainly work and the success of the stores in my territory. I have had my head so deep in the sand, that my personal holiday enjoyment has been pushed to the side a bit.

So I decided yesterday during my lunch break to pop into Williams Sonoma to see what I could see. There was a frantic quality to the shoppers yesterday. Which I found curious. But, as a retailer myself, I tend to not shop frantically or panic. So I wandered and happily came upon the cutest elf napkin ring holders. They were marked $24.95 - (you have go to be kidding was my first thought) Then I saw they were marked down to $2.99! Hello Happy Elves! They reminded me of the Jolasveinar - so I had to have them. Yes, yes, I know they are cheesy....but c'mon for $2.99 they rocked my world. And happily - the Jolasveinar knowledge I have has come in handy. Not once, but twice! They came up in conversation and in a trivia contest. When a smartass thinks they can stump you with jolasveinar and you know the answer - the feeling is pretty fantastic.

Now with my new napkin rings, perfect for my holiday dinner party sunday....I decided to hit the grocery store after work......

While shoppers were stocking up on milk, bread and bagged salads (eeew gross), I was happily wandering through the aisles clueless.

Why are there only 2 5lb bags of carrots left? I can't believe I have to buy a 5 lb bag of carrots. Crazy people were buying canned green beans by the dozen, I was filling my cart with frisee and endive. As they frantically grabbed at frozen dinners, I was selecting the perfect wine. What was up with the late night chaos at the Wegmans?

By the time I reached the checkout line and stood for one hour, I guessed something must be up.

I walked outside to see snow falling!

OOOOooooohhhhh!

I am convinced that I can manage to survive the snow storm without a fall out shelter food supply on hand.

The over reaction of the American public at the first sign of bad weather is astounding to me.

As the snow falls, I have onions carmelizing on the stove and dough rising on the counter....I think we will make it through.....

OMG!

2009-12-15T15:48:00.001-05:00

I am beyond mortified today.

Last night, I was out to dinner with my husband. Just as we sat down, I saw that my work phone was ringing.
I chose to ignore the call - because really, I am not working a job that requires 24 hour availability - even though that is what it has become lately.

After a few minutes obsessing, I decided to call "the boss" back.
It went straight to his voicemail, so I hung up.
(or thought I hung up)

The next day - my boss calls me back to ask,
"where were you last night at 6:30?"
"do you have me on speed dial?"

I am confused and puzzled by his questions.

Suddenly, he begins to recite back my PRIVATE DINNER CONVERSATION with my husband!
The damn thing recorded 3 minutes of our dinner chat in a restaurant.

Who repeats back nearly word for word a private conversation?
I begged him to stop - but he kept on.

Lesson learned -
always hit the 'end' button 7-8 times.
always return phone to handbag - don't leave it on the table to record every spoken word.
don't mock people in the restaurant, bad behavior has a way of haunting you later.

Playing It Safe with the Turkey

2009-11-23T07:44:00.003-05:00

It turns out that the flu makes you not want to do anything.
So with 13 adults and 2 children descending on Sunday for "2nd Thanksgiving", I decided not to be ambitious and just stick with a classic turkey dinner.
A roasted turkey I have made before that is always yummy and the sides that we grew up eating.
I am disappointed, but also being a realist.
Classic Turkey it is.

Kathleen Turner Turkey Feast

2009-11-18T10:19:00.004-05:00

Stress has almost overcome me in the last few weeks and months.

Stressed me out to the point where I figured, why write about it here? Do I really want to remind myself about my stress? Do I need to rehash it?

Hell no.

So therefore, no posts from me.

But now, I am sick. Obviously the stress helped get me here.

I can't even figure out what is wrong with me. It is not exactly a cold. Not exactly a flu.

I have the flop sweats occasionally. I have body aches like crazy. I had a terrible sore throat. Now I just have a gross mucous coated throat and talk like Carrie Fischer or Kathleen Turner. And I mean the recent not good years of Carrie or Kathleen.

Nasty, deep, smoker lady voice. (and I don't smoke)

I coughed so much last night that my back and ribs hurt. And to top it off, I am not hungry. I force myself to eat - and I guess that after a few more days of all liquid foods, I will at least be a few pounds leaner.

I blame all of this on sick people that don't stay home.

They diseased me. And in my weakend, stressed out state - my body could not fight back.

What is wrong with people that won't stay home when sick?

What is up with people that don't wash thier hands?

Gross!

Anyway - at least I am managing to work from home and keep the disease contained. I am beginning to plan my Thanksgiving Feast.

This year, we are going to my aunt's for Thanksgiving - but on Sunday I am having '2nd Thanksgiving' for a group of friends.

I do this mainly because I want turkey leftovers in my own home.

I hate taking a plate of leftovers from someones' house. Because secretly I feel they are begrudging me taking thier leftovers.

So now we have 2nd Thanksgiving.

I learned this from my father in law. Even if he was going somewhere for the Thursday meal - he would roast his own turkey too.

Genius!

I am attempting to re-create the Thanksgiving meal featured in the current issue of LaCucina Italiana.

But, I may go for the Giada Thanksgiving feast with the Butternut Squash lasagna and the Ciabatta Chestnut stuffing.

Lots of decisions to make.

And of course - there have already been requests for certain recipes to be on the table beyoned the LaCucina menu. Which is fine - because so far, there are 14 adults coming - so if I don't make more food, I won't have my own leftovers!

Going Vegan.....kind of

2009-10-24T10:23:00.001-04:00

I am thinking about going 60% vegan....and 40% not vegan.
Does that sound reasonable?

I mean, I love meat......but I know I could be so much healthier.
This weekend I am researching this option.

Wickhams and Willoughbys

2009-09-18T17:05:00.007-04:00

I am a sucker for all things Jane Austen.

And no matter how many times an adaptation is on PBS, cable or the movies, I will watch it happily....every single time.

Lately, Sense and Sensibility or Pride and Prejudice are on all the flippin time.

And like an addict, I can't turn away.

So it got me thinking about the bad boys of Jane.

Those nasty Willoughbys and Wickhams......

Oh how we love them.
Bad boys always get first dibs!

You fall passionately in love with him, even though you met 12 hours ago.

You pledge your never ending devotion to him because he is the finest man you ever met, even though you never really spend time alone.

You want to marry him, even though you never see him without his breeches.

You are willing to forgo the rich, kind man that pines for you and would be your man slave, so you can get dumped by the bad boy with the crazy facial hair.

Poor Jane, she must have had a real axe to grind with her own real life Willoughby/Wickham.
One minute we love him, the next minute the truth is revealed.....this whole time the dude has been a jack ass.

It makes me sad for poor Jane. Clearly, she never got over her Willoughby/Wickham...so she spent the rest of the time writing about the good ones she passed over for the bad one she remained hung up on.

Let that be a lesson to all.

Enjoy your Willoughbys and Wickhams......

But don't let the real gems go by.....Darcy, Darcy, Darcy!

Undervalued, cheap help.

2009-09-17T17:37:00.003-04:00

I am underpaid.

I found this out today....and now I am pissed off about it.

I liked it better before, when I was in the dark and stupid.

Being in the light and stupid sucks.

I always knew that they got me cheap.....but seeing the actual numbers hurts.

It makes me even angrier that others in the same job as me, make more and are stupid.

I even trained some of them.

I am vowing not to help them anymore. Ok, I know that I will still help them....but I will at least be bitter for a few days.

I have only my pride and good work ethic to lead the way.

This economy blows.

Now I can't even be outraged and demand an increase......ggggrrrrrrrr

National Health Care - Why we need it

2009-08-31T12:07:00.003-04:00

Almost 4 years ago, my husband was injured on the job. His employer of course sent him to "approved" workers comp doctors.

The doctor put him in a hip to ankle brace for several weeks. Which I thought was odd for a knee injury.

His leg muscles atrophied, but we assumed he was better because the doctors said so.

Fast forward to July 2009. The same knee "pops" one day at work. That night, it swells. Now going to a new doctor, one covered by our own insurance not a 'workers comp' specialist - we find out that he has a degenerative problem. One that began from another injury. A shredded tendon. Now a cyst has formed, arthritis issues....a mess.

All this easily diagnosed with an MRI that workers comp would not pay for 4 years ago.

Now, he is out of work on short term disabilty. His knee will never be better. He will have chronic pain until he dies.

4 years ago we had health insurance. We have always carried 2 plans. A "just in case" scenario for if mine didn't cover something, his would. We never figured on the tricky, shady workers comp experience.

With a National Health Care system - we would get care for patients who need it when they need it. There would be no fuss over the cost of MRI's and proper diagnosis. It seems silly and frustrating to know that now all these years later, insurance is paying thousands of dollars for his diagnosis, treatment etc......wasteful.

Ponder this:

The number of uninsured citizens has grown to over 45 million.
Health care has become increasingly unaffordable for businesses and individuals.
We can eliminate wasteful inefficiencies such as duplicate paper work, claim approval, insurance submission, etc.
We can develop a centralized national database which makes diagnosis and treatment easier for doctors.
Medical professionals can concentrate on healing the patient rather than on insurance procedures, malpractice liability, etc.
Free medical services would encourage patients to practice preventive medicine and inquire about problems early when treatment will be light; currently, patients often avoid physicals and other preventive measures because of the costs.
Patients with pre-existing conditions can still get health coverage.

Passing Me By

2009-07-06T15:41:00.001-04:00

Oh my gosh....time is flying by this year....
I have been in a whirl of one crazy bit after another crazy bit.
I just need to take a moment to come back to center....and back to the blog.
You know how it is.

It's Official

2009-04-29T16:54:00.004-04:00

I am now scaring myself.

Last night, I sat alone in a hotel room in Charlotte, NC screaming at the TV watching a hockey game. I was calling people names, swearing and everything.

I have never been so caught up in sports before.

But, all the screaming was worth it. We won Game 7 and continue on in the series.

The agony continues.

Thank you.

2009-04-21T13:38:00.001-04:00

They won.

Please win, please win, please win.

2009-04-20T16:58:00.003-04:00

Let's Go Caps! Let's Go Caps! Let's Go Caps!

Those of you who know me, and most likely those of you who don't know me....know I am not a sports fan.

However, I am a hockey fan. This is new for me...but this was the year I embraced hockey. I love the fights, I love the fast paced play, I love the blood, sweat and tears. The Capitals are playing game 3 tonight in the playoff series against the New York Rangers. I am putting all my good energy into them winning. We have to be best in a 7 game series and are currently down 2. I will be wearing my #8 Ovechkin jersey tonight....even though #52 Mike Green is my favorite player and boyfriend. I just haven't found his number and name on a shirt or jersey yet. One would think that because he is my boyfriend, he would just give me one....but he doesn't know he's my boyfriend...so I have to settle for buying one. By the way....this is now another of my boyfriends that is now young enough for me to have given birth to him.

At least Alessio is 43.

Alessio

2009-04-19T09:01:00.002-04:00

I'm not one to post gratuitous photos - but this is one dreamy dude.

I have a love of the Sundance channel, and for the past 3 weeks have been watching a 'made for tv' italian mini series.

I can't quite express the joy of listening to italian and then having Alessio to watch too. I started dreaming in short italian phrases.....

Buona Pasqua

2009-04-10T15:38:00.003-04:00

I have been a bit world weary of late.

Many pressing issues and problems - mainly work related...that have been taking their toll. It has left me with a bad attitude - and since nobody wants to hear more complaints...I have limited my communication.....knowing it would be hostile.

The funk has been so bad....that it was beginning to physically manifest even in my home....so I took steps to begin the spring cleaning last week....blinds off the windows and cleaned, windows, screens, dust bunnies begone!!!! Surprisingly ~ it seems to be working.....my psyche is climbing out of the dark, dank hole it has been in for the last few months.

In my mind, I have been traveling to the happy places in order to combat the nasty attitude - and can't help but remember my Easter in Italy a few years back. I had done a lenten fast of pasta that year, knowing that Easter Sunday would find me wrapped in the warm arms of Italy and all her pasta glory. Oh the joy of landing in Rome and within one hour having a lovely first course lasagna laid before you.......

Happily, I am enjoying a nice long Easter weekend - complete with chocolate, some wonderful italian wine, and a marathon of Ben-Hur and The Ten Commandments.....(I gotta get my Charlton Heston on during religious holidays.)

Somewhere in there will be some naps and a delicious Easter dinner with the local family.

She may just be emerging from the dark......(i feel like a tulip!)

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2009-03-16T18:16:00.003-04:00

Here is my one and only Irish joke.

It's short, so it is easy for me to remember and I never miss the punchline.

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

badump bump

Nonnie's Chicken or Pollo di Nonna

2009-03-08T20:01:00.005-04:00

I don't know what this is really called.

We called it something - but I don't even know how to spell it. Pitacchia - but I don't think this name even resembles anything.

This is heavenly and easy to do.

More of my childhood comfort food.

You need Chicken, white wine, rosemary, garlic, salt, pepper and olive oil.

You must use leg/thigh quarters...Cut them into 3 pieces - the marrow of the bone helps flavor the dish.

Be generous with the salt and pepper.

Brown in hot olive oil.

Throw in a head of peeled and smashed garlic.

Pour in an entire bottle of wine.

Throw in the rosemary.

Simmer till it nearly falls off the bones.

Serve with bread to dip the wondrous juice.

Usually I opt for a simple green salad too - tonight, I did a simple torn caprese.

Delightful!

It's called "Top Chef" not "Top Scallop"

2009-03-06T20:13:00.002-05:00

The smallest things can make a big difference in your day.

Last week, my sister was visiting....and much to her chagrin....heard me repeat over and over...at random and inappropriate times...the lines...."It's called Top Chef, not Top Scallop" in my very best Fabio impersonation.

(which I think I do really well)

In the midst of a tough day....I see this email pop up on my Blackberry that says "Top Scallop".

It changed my whole day when I saw this shirt....and again tortured all that came near me with my famous lines, heavily accented in Italian.....

I am totally buying this.

Thanks Ris!

Topics

2009-03-06T06:07:00.003-05:00

I have so much to say...but so little chance or time to say it.
I need to talk about pregnancys, the loss of jobs, people that throw other people under the bus, and stupid people.
No, I am not pregnant and I didn't lose my job....I try to never throw anyone under the bus, but sometimes I am stupid.

Posts coming soon to a blog near you.

Corporate Restructure = Bloodbath of lost jobs

2009-02-27T21:45:00.001-05:00

Yesterday my company experienced a 'corporate restructure'.
It was the longest day ever.
I was terrified each time the phone rang.
I cried for people.
I was anxious.
I survived.

Gross, but surprisingly useful.

2009-02-11T20:55:00.002-05:00

When you have a cold, the doctor can't do jack for you.
Mine did tell me to take mucinex and to use this.
I am opposed to two things.
Putting things in my eyes.
Putting things up my nose.

There was no way on God's green earth I was going to use this nose thing. But, I was in dire need of being healthy for a very important visit tomorrow.
So, I did it.
Weird on top of weird, one of my employees told me about this thing last week when I was healthy. Her husband is a doctor and swears by it.
I did one of those dismissive, "yeah, sounds fascinating" and went about my day.
Little did I know, days later the neti pot would come screaming back to my life.

I am still sick, but at least I am not getting worse.

Pitiful

2009-02-10T07:53:00.002-05:00

How many variations of "bed to couch" "couch to bed" "bed to chair" "chair to couch" movements can you do in one day?

I am about to find out how many you can do in two days.
Misery is following me.
Runny nose, runny eyes, aches and general bitchy discomfort.
Aggghhhh.

URI

2009-02-09T09:20:00.002-05:00

Upper Respitory Infection ~ the common cold.
I went to the doctor and this is the diagnosis. When I go to the doctor - there is something major happening usually....not a COLD!

I was a bit hyper this morning over it.
I have a huge visit this week...and need to be at my best.
Now I have a cold.
I am going to force lots of fluids, sleep and hop up on Mucinex.

Gross.

The Obsession Continues

2009-02-08T13:05:00.003-05:00

Project Ass Reduction - I have to rename this project. It didn't work for me.
When I was doing my best body reducing ~ it didn't have a name. I just did it.
So here we go again.
Off in pursuit of a better body......I really let myself go the last few months....I gave myself a good reality slap....and am back on track again.

Now, I have my Wii fit. A humbling experience.
It tells you how fat you are and your BMI. Ugh.
It tells you how bad your posture is.....It calls you a couch potato and a yoga master all on the same day.
One minute I have extreme skills the next I am a fat slug.
Awesome. How motivating.

The cold weather has been my arch enemy lately. That is where the wii fit has helped me be active, yet still toasty indoors.
The only real downside, is that with the major weightloss I had 2 years ago....I never weighed myself. I let the clothes be my guide as I dropped 8 sizes. That was all I cared about.
Now I force myself to look at the actual pounds.
It makes this tougher because I put more pressure on myself. But, it is a necessary evil. Once I reprogram my brain for the desire for daily excercise ~ I'll be good to go.

I have begun my chant again....'size 8, size 8, size 8' ~ we got a long way to go.....

Fiberglass is icky

2009-01-29T21:20:00.001-05:00

Last night, I was coated in fiberglass. At least, that is how it felt.
That stuff does not wash off easily.
Ugh.
I am itchy.

Tutto Bene Ribollita

2009-01-24T14:34:00.009-05:00

Comfort in a bowl comes to me in only one form.....the sublime Ribolitta. The first time I had this soup was on a cold day in Florence. I literally thought that I had died and gone to heaven. It must be the simplicity of the peasant dish....loaded with one of my favorite foods......BREAD!

If you can open a can and use a knife, you can make this wonderful soup.

Start by chopping onion, celery and carrots. I did one onion, 2 celery stalks and 2 carrots. Chop up a clove or two of garlic and saute in some olive oil. Add a bay leaf and some salt and pepper. Don't be stingy, use a good quality sea salt or kosher salt and only fresh cracked black pepper!

Soften the vegetables for about 7 minutes or so. Add in 2 cups of tomato sauce, 6 cups of your favorite chicken stock and 2 cans of white beans. I did use cannelini beans, but do prefer the smaller white beans for this soup. (The first Ribollita I had also had greens in it. This is truyly a soup you can make your very own. Add whatever additional veggies you like!) Bring to a simmer. Now comes the fun part. The Bread! You will need a stale loaf, or at least day old bread. Cut it in half and scoop out the insides. You will tear up the bread with your hands and drop into the soup. The bread will begin to break down and absorb the stock. You can add as much or as little bread as you prefer. The ribolitta can be super thick, or more soupy...your preference prevails. Use some of the crust to dip into the soup for a taste test. Adjust your salt and pepper seasonings if needed.

When you are ready to serve, dish it up into a bowl, grate some parmigiano cheese and a drizzle of olive oil! Tutto Bene!

Things I Learned In Jury Duty

2009-01-09T21:52:00.003-05:00

and in no particular order....

Jury duty is not that bad. Don't be drama about it if you have to go.
Bailiffs work a lot more than I thought....I thought they only said, "all rise"
Cool new words can be learned in jury duty.....Voir Dire
Not all attorneys make a lot of money.....the prosecutor for the state had on a really cheap suit and bad shoes. It was almost a distraction. Someone call "What Not to Wear"
6 grams of cocaine can put you in prison for a looooong time.
A bad public defender is terrible to see up close.
Moral Turpitude - one set of words I never heard in my whole life, and now want to use in a sentence when I get the chance to.
People brought together to serve on a jury form a really interesting bond.
Trial lawyers have to pay close attention all day long. It is intense beyond my imagination.
Retired judges on the bench don't tolerate stupidity.
If you are a defense attorney - look into Toastmasters....being a low talker is not working for you.
Determining guilt or innocence is hard.
Reasonable Doubt is a tough one.
Determining credibility on people you know is tough enough....determining credibility on total strangers is nearly impossible.
Jury deliberation rooms are really small and the chairs are uncomfortable. At least it was not swealtering like in "Twelve Angry Men"
There were no Angry Men on the jury.
Police officers in bullet proof vests have a really weird body shape and walk kind of funny.
Character witnesses on the stand can make you cry.
Just because a lawyer has a legal pad, and they flip the pages during questioning doesn't mean they have anything written down. I could see it was blank.
It is really hard to not raise your hand and get to ask the witnesses your own questions.
It is really hard to not talk about the trial before deliberation.
It is really hard to impose a sentence.
12 people carry a large burden.....I'm glad I got to carry it with such a responsible, thoughtful and intelligent group of people.
I'm glad we considered the man's family and future in our decision.
You get an escort to your car.

2009-01-05T17:36:00.002-05:00

This one is originally from The Big Read. Apparently they reckon that most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here.
Instructions:
1. Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2. Underline those you intend to read. (In blogger you can use Ctrl. U to do this)
3. Italicize the books you LOVE.
4. Reprint this list so we can try and track down these people who've only read 6 and force books upon them.

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkein
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
Harry Potter Series - JK Rowling
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
The Bible
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
1984 - George Orwell
His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
Little Women - Lousia M Alcott
Tess of the D'Urbevilles - Thomas Hardy
Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
Complete Works of Shakespeare
Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
Birdsong - Sebastian Faulkes
Catcher in the Rye - J D Salinger
The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
Middlemarch - George Eliot
Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
Bleak House - Charles Dickens
War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
Brideshead Revisted - Evelyn Waugh
Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
Emma - Jane Austen
Persuasion - Jane Austen
The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
The Kite Runner- Khaled Hosseini
Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
Animal Farm - George Orwell
The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Atonement - Ian McEwan
Life of Pi - Yann Martel
Dune - Frank Herbert
Cold comfort Farm - Stellla Gibbons
Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
The Curios Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
The Secret History - Donna Tartt
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
On The Road - Jack Kerouac
Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding
Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
Moby Dick - Herman Melville
Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
Dracula - Bram Stroker
The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
Ulysses - James Joyce
The Bell Jar - Slyvia Plath
Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
Germinal - Emile Zola
Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
Possession - AS Byatt
A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
The Color Purple - Alice Walker
The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
Charlotte's Web - EB White
The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
Watership Down - Richard Adams
A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
Hamlet - William Shakespeare
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

This list will help with my "reading" resolution for the year.
At least I read more than 6 already....

Optimisim for 09

2009-01-01T08:59:00.002-05:00

Happy New Year Everyone!
I just read my own New Years post from 08 ~ I sounded so hopeful. Goodness knows, in comparison to 07 - 2008 was a much better year for me.

Last night, 2009 came in quietly....Tony and I were the only ones awake in the house.
Today, I am not dashing off to a New Years brunch. Instead I am braising pork ribs and making my black eyed peas and donning my new Ovechikin T for the game tonight.
08 had a feminine lovely start....in 09 I will have bbq sauce all over me and am hoping to see a good ole fist fight on the ice!
We will see how this year plays out.
This will be my year to toughen up, not be such a girl, not worry so much about what other people think.
ggggrrrr!
I feel the manly empowerment already.

My life since December 17th

2008-12-30T19:13:00.002-05:00

Whoa - what a whirlwind since the Crackberry Nosepicker incident. I will sum up in quick bullets.
12/18 - store visits (this term equals me running from store to store with carloads of product to replenish each store I visit. Robbing Peter to pay Paul)
12/19 - store visits
12/20 - store visit. I did wear antlers on this day to keep the Scrooges cheery.
12/21 - church, grocery store, gift wrapping, dropped gifts off, picked up butter for my aunt, got invited to the Redskins game by two random strangers in the grocery store because I was wearing my Cooley jersey, came home and made my Ciopinno for the mass crowd on Christmas Eve.
12/22 - store visits
12/23 - store visits, came home to family just in from California and New Jersey - went out to eat, came home and made egg thing for the next morning - prepared for my work day until about 1am.
12/24 - office day at home, lots of conference calls, in between I served breakfast and entertained my guests...sent mom, sis and grandfather to the grocery store for the ingredients for my salads and to pick up the fish to pop in my ciopinno. Frantically realized at 2pm that the day was half gone and I still had on pajamas. Made 2 salads - one orange and fennel and one pomegranate and arugula - frantic shower, threw on outfit - drove with food to aunt's house, requested cocktail the moment I walked in the door. The rest of the night was a blur. I cooked, I ate, drank and made merry. Went to midnight mass....in bed 3am.
12/25 - woke and made Panetonne French Toast - it came out yummy....openend presents...squealed over my new Wii. Dressed, went to Christmas Dinner - another blur of a day...
12/26 - worked and was bitter about it. Ate pizza for dinner and then played Wii until 2am. Did manage to shatter a christmas ornament off my tree when going for my best "serena williams backhand" yikes.
12/27 - sad, family left. I did pass out on the couch about 23 minutes after they left. Woke to eat chinease food at 7pm. Passed out again watching "Love in the time of Cholera" What the hell was that movie about?!?!?!?
12/28 - slept really late, missed church, felt guilt for like 2 seconds. Made a yummy breakfast passed out on the couch again....do we see a pattern here? Managed to drag myself off the couch and went to grocery store. Ate dinner, decided to try one more time to watch "Love in the time of Cholera" I managed to not pass out this time - but I still don't get it. Why did he tell her he was a virgin? Why did she marry Benjamin Bratt? Who decided John Leguizamo was right for that part? I think I can't look at Javier Bardem without seeing his Dutch boy haircut, even when he doesn't have a dutch boy haircut. Did they stay on that boat forever? WTF?!
12/29 - worked and was bitter about it.
12/30 - worked, not so bitter today....mainly happy because I was invited to a hockey game on New Years Day and I only have to work a 1/2 day tomorrow!!! Can't wait to pass out on the couch again.

Gross Crackberry Nose Picker

2008-12-17T21:34:00.002-05:00

This is really to rich.
I was flying home this evening.
At the appointed time, the flight attendants told everyone to please turn off all electronic devices and cell phones.
Apparently the Crackberry addict next to me did not think this applied to her.
2 different attendants came by and told her to turn it off.
"oh, ok" she said. Then she would pretend to turn it off and place it face down in the middle seat between us. Then she would pick it up and start all over again.
I finally lost it.
Do the rules not apply to everyone?
I said, "excuse me, are you negotiating middle east peace talks? No? then how about turning it off. You don't look that important"
She smiled smuggly at me and said nothing.
Then continued to leave it on and text message.
I said, "you may not value your life, but I do value mine. And my life is hardly worth your unimportant emailing. Turn it off."
She placed it down again - and I said, "am I going to have to turn that off for you? Or shall I call the flight attendant?"
She finally turned it off, and I made her show me it was turned off.
Finally, I closed my eyes for a nice little nap on the ride home....I opened them to find the woman picking her nose!!!!!!!! Ugh!
I asked her if I could provide her a tissue or was she going to wipe it on the seat? My goodness. How gross.
Needless to say. We were not best friends on the flight.
Is it a wonder I don't touch anything on an airplane?

ciopinno for 23

2008-12-16T16:48:00.002-05:00

I have to figure out how I will prepare this and transport it.

I am thinking of 5x the normal recipe - that would feed 20 - but it is also just one part of a total meal.

So maybe just 3x the normal recipe.

hhhhmmmmmmm.....decisions, decisions.

I am also thinking of forgoing the normal Christmas morning 'egg thing' in favor of Panetonne French Toast...decisions, decisions.

I need some quiet time to think this crap through.

Top That!

2008-12-12T23:37:00.002-05:00

Each morning - my day begins with a series of rituals.

Wake.

Shower.

Decide what to wear.

Blow Dry hair.

Dress.

Make-up.

Eat breakfast...(sometimes I eat after shower and before what to wear)

Leave for work.

Commence morning bitchfest.

As some of you know, when I leave for work in the morning....I never go to the same place everyday. Some days I stumble simply into my home office. Some days I make a mad dash for the airport. Some days I drive 15 minutes or 4 1/2 hours.

But no matter where I go or how long it takes me, my morning buddies call me or I call them and we complain, laugh, scheme, conspiracize about the day ahead. I can count on at least 3 people for this every morning.

Today, I was leaving on one of the 4 1/2 hour drives. I left at 5:45am. Because of the early morning hour, I knew it would be a few hours before the buddy calls came pouring in...so I turned up the Sirius in the rental car and belted out the latest tunes in the pitch black dark roads of South Carolina.

At about 7:00 am dawn started to break....I was making great time, I was planning my day, I was loving the new Miley Cyrus song....(i know, i should not admit that out loud).....at 7:15 a horrible sound exploded around me....I looked in the rearview mirror to see chunks of black things scattering on the road....and suddenly lost control of the steering. I panicked for a split second but then brought it back to center.....and pulled off to the side of the road....all the while hearing the scraping of metal.

I got out of the car and discovered that the tire had blown up. It was 7:15, in the middle of nowhere, cold and now I had an exploded tire, possibly a van out of alignment, 185 more miles to go and my pants and suede shoes were wet and muddy from the ditch I was in.

Nice.

Roadside assistance from the rental car company. Not helpful. It took the woman for flippin ever to pull up my info. How is it that I am a frequent renter with this company, have a contract and contract # and they have no record of me?

"please hold while I get Chrysler on the line"

"why do we need to call Chrysler? get me a tire!"

"maam, that is a new car, it only has 6000 miles on it...this should not have happened"

Technically, my problem was not covered.

Technically, even if it was, I was in the middle of nowhere and the nearest tow company was not open until 8:30.

"So basically, I sit here on the roadside and wait?"

"yes, maam"

So, I waited. And now the phone calls began.

My normal morning peeps. All of them seemed to want to talk about how awful their morning was.

Oh really?

Are you sitting in a muddy ditch in South Carolina?

Did your life pass before your eyes as your car tire exploded and you went careening to one side?

Have you panic cried and ruined your eye makeup?

I don't think so! Top that for a poopy morning!

I won.

Of all the 5 morning people phone calls, I had the most miserable story to tell.

Victory!

But, in conclusion...the nicest tow truck driver in all of South Carolina came and helped me.

I had to drive the remaining 185 miles on a donut at 55mph with my hazards on.

Good times.

And the rental counter comped the cost and apologized profusely.....I mean sheesh, get a look at that tire!

Not such a bad day after all.

Virtuous vs. Vicious

2008-12-05T20:32:00.003-05:00

This has been stewing in my brain for a week. I went to mass on Sunday and the sermon was about how we need to be repentent during Advent.

What?! Had Father lost his mind? Isn't Christmas about peace, love, joy, cocktails, celebrations, yummy food, cocktails? Being repentent is for Lent. It is hard enough for 40 days to give up Starbucks and Pasta. This is the holiday season....Starbucks has cranberry bliss bars and drinks called Espresso Truffle! If you tell me to be repentent, I tend to think I can't enjoy love, cocktails, celebrations, yummy food and cocktails. This concept of repentence nearly stopped me in my tracks! It was hard to pay attention.

Then, he said it was our choice to be virtuous or vicious. Listening to him, I realized I err on the side of being vicious. Don't you love how 'vice' vs. 'virtue' = vicious vs. virtuous?!?! Nothing like a good dose of guilt on Sunday.

Apparently, instead of being full of lust, I have to be chaste. Instead of being a glutton, I need to show moderation or fast completely. Instead of being proud, I need to be humble. Of course, I sat there thinking I am lustful, a glutton and a mean bitch. Great. Merry Christmas to me.

How did I get to this point in my life, and I have never heard this kind of thing around the holidays. Yea yea, usually the priests gripe about our obsession with Santa Claus, gift giving, pagan ritual and boycotting places that say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas...But this?!?! To call me vicious?

Ironically, I am reading a book right now that is a collection of Christmas stories, essays, etc...and last night read part of a sermon made by Cotton Mather in 1712 ~ he was having a fit about drunk people and gambling.....complaining about how it was denegrading the birth of Christ. Of course, I think he had a little something to do with the Salem witch trials too...(no doubt fun loving lustful, gluttoness bitches like myself) Get over it Cotton. Let the people have a little fun.

I'm over it, call me vicious all you want. I am going to whoop it up....isn't that what confession is all about?

A random recap.....be prepared to be confused.

2008-12-04T23:30:00.003-05:00

In the course of the past week, I have had so much to say...but not a moment to sit down and say it.
Now that I have a moment, I am too tired and just want to go to bed.

I was away from home this week, some weeks away from home are just brutally exhausting.
I feel like a wimp for saying that...but it is true.
The air in the hotel was dry and icky....my lips are cracked, I feel like I need to slather myself in moisturizer to make up for it.
I had a terrible time sleeping well....and I think that was because it was eerily quiet. Isn't that bizarre? Apparently I need background noise to sleep well. The slumping economy means not as many people traveling....and I know they put me in the last room down the hall on the 4th floor with no other people. In the morning I would come out and be the only door with a newspaper in front.
Creepy.
Now that I think about it, I must have been restless because I secretly knew I was alone and far, far away from any form of help at the front desk! And my blackberry went dead because I forgot my charger! At least I know the number to 911 in case an axe murder was coming to get me.

Thanksgiving was good. Not great. Good.
That seems to be a common theme with those I have spoken to. Here is why I am pissed.
My turkey sucked. I did not have total control of my turkey....and because I was not in total control, I feel the quality was not there. My friend Kyle offered to clean the turkey and then season it with my prepared herb butter. I was cringing watching him do it. He did not clean it the way I clean it....he did not pat the skin dry...he was haphazard in rubbing the butter under the skin...finally, I couldn't take it anymore and shoved him out of the way and took over. But it was too late....never again will I relinquish turkey control. When I ate it...ugh. The upside is, 2 days later the turkey rocked. Maybe because I entered the kitchen at 7am and left it at 10:30pm when the last dish was cleaned is why I thought my turkey sucked. That and the fact that I did not have total turkey control. I am bossy. I am mean. I like to be left alone in my kitchen. Get the hell out.

That night, I went to bed at about 10:31pm...I was pooped and had to be to work early, and drop Kyle off at the metro even earlier. I woke up at 11:30, 12, 12:24, 2:30, 3:30 and 5:00 - each time I contemplated calling my poor outlet managers that had to open at midnight. I was feeling guilt for not working that shift with one of them. But I resisted. At 5:15 I called my closest outlet to see how the night went....it went well. Thousands of dollars. and more thousands. I was happily optimistic for about 2 seconds that the Black Friday would be good, I would make my numbers and not be fired for being the worst DM ever. Then I called my other 2 outlets...they tanked. Retail is a brutal world, but I decided to put my best foot forward. I arrived early at my highest volume store, antlers in hand. We were going to have fun dammit.
We did have fun, the customers were annoying, they wanted the world for under $5 and I was frustrated. Let's not create deflation....let's not force retailers to discount even more please. This is my own grown up Christmas wish.
I came home pooped.
Ate chinese food and passed out on the couch watching Elf.

The tree is up, the lights are up, and I managed to buy a handful of gifts.
Then I left for a few days, now I am home, then I leave again.

Heavenly Happiness aisle 9

2008-11-25T20:11:00.002-05:00

Today I ate 4 almonds, half a ham sandwich and a few bites of lentil soup.
By the time I reached the grocery store tonight after sitting in 2hrs of traffic I was starving!
And then I came across Cranberry Orange Risotto in the hot counter at the Wegman's.
I gobbled it up with a glass of white wine.
Suddenly I feel so much better.

The Agony and The Ecstasy

2008-11-23T08:45:00.008-05:00

This has nothing to do with Michelangelo or the Sistine Chapel. However, I expect my finished product to have the same awe inspiring effect on the attendees.....

I have been back and forth about 1000 times on what to make for Thanksgiving this year.

It is possible that because of being under the weather, my head has not been in it.

But here is the menu so far. (I am so happy to have settled the matter)

Antipasti for mingling and wine drinking: (music mix to include Bobby Short and Blossom Dearie)

Spicy Cheese Log & Crackers

Herb & Cheese Coins ~ a delightful savory cookie made with blue cheese and walnuts

Spiced Nuts

Marcona Almonds

Olives

Hummus

(this is my favorite part of any get together - the liquor and snacks.....I am thinking some Manhattens are in order too....the music almost demands them)

Primi Piatti:

Butternut Squash Soup

Secondi:

Herb Roasted Turkey with Maple/Orange Glaze

Contorno:

Corn Bread & Sausage Stuffing

Crisp Green Beans w/ Sun Dried Tomatoes

Mashed Potatoes

Balsamic Glazed Pearl Onions

Corn Pudding

Cranberry Apple Crisp

Dolci:

Asian Pear Pie

Assorted Biscotti

Pumpkin Mousse Parfaits

And totally unrelated - I see I have a reader from Gillette Wyoming....my uncle used to live there ~ he had this really cheesy one liner on Gillette ~ "Gillette, the sharpest town in the west"

Sorry...I had to get that out of my system. You can blame my Uncle Gerry.

Photo Shop circa 1530

2008-11-20T22:47:00.004-05:00

Copernicus was a cool guy.

I love even more that the anthropologically reconstructed Copernicus looks like the real life version of the 'photoshopped' portrait of Copernicus.

It is comforting to know, that even in the 16th century, the media was not about 'keeping it real'.....yet at the end of the day, you can still see the real life guy on the left and know that he is Copernicus. It must be the nose.

Slightly Better and Slightly Terrifying Realizations

2008-11-20T22:16:00.005-05:00

Today I only used 1/2 box of kleenex.

I took none of that waste of money cold medicine.

I tasted my dinner when I ate it.

My nose looks slightly worse.

My attitude is slightly better.

It is also looking up that the weekend is fast approaching. I am doing my best to convince myself that tomorrow will be a fast and productive day.

I am happily geeking out over the fact that I can watch that dreamy Rob Pattinson in Twilight this weekend too.

(some may accuse me of being a pedophile - but I believe he is at least 22..... well above the acceptable age.) How terrifying that for the first time in my life I have a little crush on someone younger than myself. Oh, but wait, I have a crush on Steve from Ghost Hunters too....he looks younger than me. Good grief.

I really am almost 40.

Before you know it, I will be called a cougar. How gross.

Maybe he isnt that adorable.

Who am I kidding, yes he is.

Another Head Cold?!?!

2008-11-19T21:13:00.002-05:00

Good Grief.

I just want to scream. But I am too busy blowing my nose and coughing to scream. How is it that I have another cold again?!

I just suffered through one of these not two months ago....I thought I was good to go until at least January.

Once again, I reflect on the common facts of the common cold:

Cold medicine is a worthless investment.
I ask everyone, all day long to feel my forehead to see if I have a fever.

Anti-viral kleenex makes me feel less like I am infecting the whole world - when in fact the whole world runs from me like I am Typhoid Mary.

After 5 days of kleenex use, my nose becomes red, dry and cracked - and no amount of mega moisturizer keeps it looking normal.

I hate having a dry, red, cracked and crusty nose. (this is what I get for calling a certain someone Crusty. Sorry G)

On top of a crusty nose, my fingers get all dry from the constant kleenex use. Or maybe it is combined with the constant hand washing in my effort to not spread the disease.

I never have a good hair day when I have a cold. Is it because my eyes are so watery that I can't see myself in the mirror? It may also explain the haphazard application of make-up - I tend to look like Baby Jane when I have a cold.

When I have a cold, I get so miserable that I start to wonder what healthy and normal feels like. I love to wallow in the "i am sick pity party"

I can never remember to feed a cold, starve a fever or feed a fever, starve a cold ~ and it pisses me off because I assume it is feed a cold, but what is the point if you can't taste anything?

Hearing everyone tell you to drink green tea and take echinacea is just annoying. Shut up and stick your opinion up your butt.

When I Grow Up

2008-11-17T17:26:00.002-05:00

I want to be just like Kate Winslet....

I have put this cover in my bathroom.....no doubt the Thanksgiving guests may mock!

Nevertheless, I am pretty sure Kate and I are about the same height....attainable goal no?

A forecast I can finally live with!

2008-11-16T08:33:00.002-05:00

43°F
Current:Mostly CloudyWind: SW at 2 mphHumidity: 59%
Today50° 31°
Mon47° 27°
Tue43° 25°
Wed43° 27°

Hip hip hooray! The cold weather is finally coming! The temps in the 70's yesterday was hardly an inspiration!

The Ramble of Angst....

2008-11-12T21:38:00.002-05:00

The following things have been on my mind and of great concern to me lately. Here they are in no particular order.
The Economy
My hair
Project Ass Reduction
Weird Dreams
My inability to get anything done lately.

Ok, so each and every day, the economy weighs heavily on my brain. I don't know a great deal about economics, I don't recall ever really paying attention in my economics class, and quite honestly, I never have had a lot of money. I read the paper, I listen to the news, I read magazine articles and listen to talk shows....and listen to podcasts like this. It helps my pea brain wrap itself around the issues.
I was trying to be optimistic to all my employees.
Then it came crashing down on me a week or so ago, when I had to announce to all of my managers that the company was putting a pay freeze in place for the next 12 months. On top of that, we would not be matching 401K contributions for the next 12 months. Ouchy.
Each day, sales are worse and worse. The saddest part is that I am happy when I am down 30% and the rest of the districts are down 40%. I worry, I try to be grateful to have a job, but it is hard to carry the burden of worry for my entire team.

My Hair - I currently hate it. I am afraid that my cut is growing out to "the Rachel" cut.....AAAgggh.
But, I have decided to grow it to donate it again before I have lots of gray hair. As I worry like I do, I fear I may sprout more and more gray!
The color is also not good. I thought it was good, and then two people told me I looked tired and washed out.
Thanks for the honesty and making me feel like crap.
Another friend told me to go darker, she said I was losing my italianess....Hi, I was born with light colored hair, so shut up.
But, they may be right. This sucks, and I can't believe I am even giving a shit.

Project Ass Reduction ~ good grief. I feel like a fat ass ok? I hate halloween and the damn small snickers bars. I never during the year eat snickers bars like I do during the month of October. I think I can take any temptation over snickers bars at Halloween. To make it even more painful 1 week ago, I put on a pair of pants...ok good.
The next week, I put them on again and they would not button. Utter, total and complete fat ass melt down. I cried.
Happily, I did realize it was the pre-menstrual bloat and hopefully next week I can button the damn pants again.
I hate that my metabolism is that of a sloth.
I hate that I have to move my body every single day in order to maintain a reasonable body weight.
I hate that this bothers me so much.

Weird Dreams - Monday night I dreamt I was arrested for shoplifting towels from Saks Fifth Avenue. Do they even sell towels? And the worst part was, my boss was calling me on my cell phone yelling at me for missing a conference call. I couldn't even be arrested without being bothered by work. Last night I dreamt I was pulled over and arrested while driving. I don't know what I did wrong! But the policeman ended up coming with me to where I was going. He was very handsome, and I think I was supposed to be in love with him....but then work called and I had to leave.
I am exhausted when I wake up, too busy explaining my arrests and worrying about not missing conference calls.

My inability to get anything done ~ It is November, Thanksgiving is weeks away. I have no Christmas Cards - normally they are done in October, I am cooking Thanksgiving, I have no idea what the menu is. My home is dirty. I have no idea when I will clean it. The list goes on and on. My priorities are in the toilet....which also needs to be cleaned. I can't focus.
Perhaps, if I spent more time on important things, and less time griping, I would not be in this predicament.

Ummmmm......No

2008-10-18T22:57:00.001-04:00

Bad idea.

I went thru the men in my life, past and present, gay and straight, and I can't think of one that would rock the manty-hose look.

South Carolina

2008-10-18T12:35:00.002-04:00

Things that are awesome about South Carolina:

The Piggly Wiggly ~ first off, how can you not love a place named the Piggly Wiggly?! Last night I stopped in to get some wine and dinner ingredients. Not only was it lovely inside, the wine selection was great, there was a Starbucks (hard to find here) and they sell flippin Piggly Wiggly t-shirts. I was so overjoyed at the t-shirts, I could not make a decision...today I will return and buy one.
The Low Country ~ I love saying 'low country' and there is something very beautiful about this place....it makes me speak lower, slower and with a tendency to pick up that southern lilt.
Nice people ~ when you live in a place with Piggly Wigglys and are surrounded by Spanish Moss.....why wouldn't you be a nice person?

Breathe

2008-10-16T22:54:00.002-04:00

Today I noticed that when I am anxious, or hearing something that is about to make me lose it.....I hold my breath.

Apparently, this is my attempt to stop all time.

If I stop breathing, this person will really not continue to say stupid things....and stupid things will not actually happen.

I held my breath last night during the debate and when Leann won Project Runway.

As I thought about this even more tonight on my painful 4 1/2 hour drive thru the back woods of South Carolina, I realized that in most of the bad choices of my life, I was not breathing.

I am thinking oxygen exchange is key to making it thru.

Life lesson 9,692,621 learned today.

Spiders!

2008-10-13T16:56:00.004-04:00

On the way out the door yesterday, I grabbed my Martha Stewart magazine ~ I usually only ever buy the Halloween issue ~ because I love how Martha classes up Halloween.

I saw this wreath and decided to make it!

Super easy ~ now I am ready to scare off potential visitors!

One Year Ago....

2008-10-11T13:01:00.004-04:00

This is the sorta, kinda anniversary of my trip to Italy last October.
I am not so sure how to link back to old posts....but we will see if this works.
Click Here for the Italian retrospective - which I know I never finished. I know, I slacked.

Sadly, Poor Mario passed away some weeks back...and I could not help but re-post this video of him and the ricotta crostata.
A me me piace.....

Look what I made!

2008-10-04T04:23:00.002-04:00

If you have spare time on your hands......look at the cool things you can make!

I am reconnecting with my inner knitter.

Clearly

2008-09-25T21:01:00.002-04:00

Clearly I have been traveling a great deal lately.....I should return shortly.

WTF?!?!

2008-09-25T20:53:00.002-04:00

Economic Crisis?
I get it American Media - thanks for trying to scare me.
I'm not scared.
I'm liquid ~ and it's all insured.
So bite me.

The real economic crisis is on USAirways.
$1 for hot tea.
$1 for hot coffee.
$2 for water.
$2 for juice.
$2 for soda.
$7 for wine, beer, and liquor.
Can I have a hot tea - hold the hot and hold the tea bag? It seems a better deal than the water.
This is some bullshit.

Nice

2008-09-12T22:45:00.002-04:00

Today the man sitting next to me on the airplane actually took my bag out of the overhead for me.
That was the first time ever!
I am either:
a. attractive enough to get a strange man to help me
b. look old and feeble
c. look like I just needed help

Thank you Mr. Yacht Salesman.
You made my night.

Why don't I do stuff like this more often?

2008-09-07T20:03:00.002-04:00

Today, I decided to abandon my normal Sunday of church, starbucks, excercise, moan about going to work day.
I did go to church....and then headed to the National Gallery of Art to hear Leo Villareal discuss his upcoming installation in the gallery.
It was fascinating to hear about an artist and his process. It was followed by an art historian relating to pieces from the past that she found relevant to Leo's work.

I was inspired, and am vowing to go to these talks more often!
They are free for pete's sake!

2008-09-06T13:56:00.002-04:00

I am finally feeling healthy again.
It was brutal there for awhile.

Work has had me traveling too. Just when I started to recover, I was back in airports and hotels. It did allow me to slowly get back to me excercise routine ~ when you are forced to be in hotels for days on end, the excercise room is always a better alternative than eating fast food and watching Everybody Loves Raymond re-runs.

Unfortunately, the travel has left me behind in all the homefront tasks. I have lots of catching up to do, and Hanna is preventing my motivation today. I ventured out, only to be so soaked thru so that even my underwear needed to be wrung out. Not a pleasant feeling.

So I have retreated home, put on warm, fuzzy sweat pants and plan on watching some mind numbing TV.....

Trapped!

2008-08-16T14:52:00.001-04:00

If you could hear me right now, you would hear whining and complaining.
I have the flu.
I am trapped inside, sick with the flu.
Yesterday afternoon, I thought I was feeling better....so I decided to head to the grocery store to pick up some essentials.
Big mistake.
I was sweating, dizzy and nearly passed out.
So, here I am. Trapped inside.
Sick
:-(

An answer to a question

2008-08-09T12:14:00.003-04:00

This is for Cat ~

I would never poo poo gravity. I mean, I poo poo a lot of things...but not gravity.

I simply took gravity for granted before. Because of my learning ~

Now I know that the crap that makes me crazy.... The minutia of things you can't change.....The people that don't make any sense.....It's just like gravity. It just is.

So deal with it, you can't change it.

I have now stopped fussing about all the gravity.

I just let it be.