Trapped!

If you could hear me right now, you would hear whining and complaining.
I have the flu.
I am trapped inside, sick with the flu.
Yesterday afternoon, I thought I was feeling better....so I decided to head to the grocery store to pick up some essentials.
Big mistake.
I was sweating, dizzy and nearly passed out.
So, here I am. Trapped inside.
Sick
:-(

An answer to a question

This is for Cat ~

I would never poo poo gravity. I mean, I poo poo a lot of things...but not gravity.

I simply took gravity for granted before. Because of my learning ~

Now I know that the crap that makes me crazy.... The minutia of things you can't change.....The people that don't make any sense.....It's just like gravity. It just is.

So deal with it, you can't change it.

I have now stopped fussing about all the gravity.

I just let it be.

Cheesy, corny crap that actually works!

A few weeks ago, I had to attend a seminar.

my first reaction?...AAAaaaggghhhh

my second reaction?....oh, alright...if I have to.

A week before the seminar, I received an online survey to complete. cheesy, dumb questions.

A few days before the seminar, I received a book.....with instructions to read specific chapters. It was that terrible, boring reading that makes you nod off two sentences into the first paragraph.

Between the online survey and reading selection....a sense of dread settled over me.

I knew that this was a 2 day seminar.

It was offsite. Away from our office......far from the grip of our normal lives.

We were told only to bring a pen. No notebook, no paper.

Don't bring a large bag! No cellphones! No Blackberrys! No laptops! Oh the humanity!

We were instructed to be prepared to cut ourselves off from the world. Make it clear to everyone that for 2 days we would be unreachable!

Was this a cult?

Was I going to have to cut my hair and give up my clothes? Perhaps walk around in some sort of kaftan?

Would there be chanting? Would there be some sort of medical experimentation?

My mind was running amok!

By this point, I am sure you are sensing my less than enthusiastic/optimistic outlook on the seminar.

But as the day began, I was quite smitten by Bill. He was charming like a gameshow host. He told great stories. He had a voice that made you take notice. The perfect facilitator!

There was a lady too. She was nice, but lacked the charisma of Bill.

I panicked slightly when we were given journals to record our thoughts, feelings and meditations of the days to follow ~ I sucked at keeping a diary when I was 12, how would I make this work?

Slowly, I began to let go.

I began to take it in.

I began to journal ~ not a lot, just a little.

I enjoyed the excercises, shared my stories, listened to the stories of those around me, began to sip a bit of the Kool Aid.

That first night in my hotel room, I read over what I had written during the day.

Whoa! Some of it was deep!

With Day 2 before me, I was totally suckered in.

I was now drinking the Kool Aid.

At the end of the seminar, we made committment statements and were given a blue chip to carry around. I felt like I had been thru a 12 step program.....but, wow!!! It felt really good!

It has now been almost 3 weeks since the seminar.

I am sticking to my committment statements.

I am 'starting at curious'

I am keeping myself high on the 'mood elevator'

I have accepted 'gravity'

It has actually stuck with me. It has actually had a profound effect on me. How cool.

Hypersomnia?!....ZZZZZzzzzzz

I have been very, very sleepy. It is as if I can't get enough sleep.
I feel fine. I have been excercising, eating right, working, a general good disposition....but when night falls, I can barely keep my eyes open!
Case in point....last night I passed out on the couch before 8pm. I woke up at 10pm.....sluglike moved to the bed where I was again asleep in mere moments.
I woke up at 7am today.

I only remember dreaming about Brad Pitt and tomato plants.

(for grins and giggles I googled the two together ~ who knew?)

Spooky Signs and it's not even October!

I was running late for church today.
I sprang out of bed, with 15 minutes to be ready.
I hopefully glanced in the mirror that my hair was somewhat tame....but lo and behold, it was scary.
Jumping into the shower I ran thru in my mind what to wear, what to wear?
I threw on a simple dress, slicked back the hair and decided it would do.
As I left, my cell phone remained on my desk.

Hurrying down the aisle, I kneeled and did a quick "hello, God - thanks for a good week, help me thru another week, let Cathy say ok to the promote for Montgomery, and help me to do a better job taking care of myself again. I know I need to say my prayers and be more reflective, but I could use a hand"

and then mass began.

At the end of mass, the soloist began to sing Ave Maria.
I immediately took it as a sign from God. Not only am I usually a faithful and frequent petitioner to the blessed Mother, it reminded me of my Nonnie. Ok God, I got the message. I will resume my prayers to Mary tonight!

When I left church and headed to the grocery store to pick up milk, I stopped for a coffee. They had run out of Washington Posts....so I picked up the NY Times.

Glancing thru - I saw that the NY Times magazine had an article that was basically ode to the apricot. I immediately thought of Cat! I would have to send him this bit of info!

Walking thru the front door, I had Mary, Nonnie and Cat on the brain. As I checked my messages on my phone - what do I see but a comment from Cat on this very blog....about hearing the Ave Maria!

I think I get the message loud and clear. Reinforced by song and odes to flip flops.

(by the way, I wore the green dress.....it was fabulous for our dinner cruise of Boston Harbor)

Requiem on a Flip Flop

Today I lost an old friend.

My favorite flip flop.

Actually, only one died, but without the other....the surviving one is quite useless.

I have had this particular pair for at least 7 years.

7 summers.

7 years of vacations.

7 years of pedicures, two broken toes, and always my refuge when those other nasty shoes gave me a blister. My trusty flip flops were always there.

7 years of the handy pair of shoes by the door that you can quickly slip into.

7 years of epic life, romance, comedy, drama and even a bit of tragedy.

These flip flops walked across the sand, the concrete, airports, grocery stores, even St. Marks Square.

My mother hated these flip flops.

Each trip home to California, I would open my suitcase, and there they would be in all their ragged glory. She would threaten to throw them out everytime....even buy me a new pair.

But I could not be swayed.

Each year, I would walk into a store, looking at the new flip flops....but none had the same appeal. None ever felt so comfy. None ever managed to turn my head.

Today, getting out of my car, the right flop ripped apart. Ironically in front of the Target store. (where I had purchased them years before)

I frantically tried to repair it. But it didn't work.

I was so distraught, I got back in the car and limped home. (it is not easy to walk in a broken flip flop)

My mother was thrilled to hear the news that her nemesis was finally dead and gone.

Farewell old friends.

I will miss you.