Friday, November 26, 2010

These are a few of my favorite things....

I have a head full of random thoughts, and they are screaming to come out.

Most likely they have been induced by the lack of sleep and amount of overwork the last few days. I hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving. I did. The dinner conversation ran the gamut from Pat Tillman, to bed bugs, to Formula 1, to whore houses. I now have knowledge of whore houses that I never knew I would attain. I believe I mentioned in the last post how my family keeps me laughing. Anyway.....


Let me first begin by saying I am currently procrastinating. I have 2nd Thanksgiving to host tomorrow, my house is a disaster zone, my suitcases - plural - are still strewn throughout the rooms, I think I may have done laundry about 2 weeks ago, lets not even talk about the bathrooms and I still have lingering Halloween paraphernalia around. Including the leftover trick or treat candy. In a few short hours, I must transform the funk, set a lovely table and prepare a feast. I should be hard at work now....but too bad. I am avoiding it. I'll let myself freak out later. I choose to instead sit here and practice avoidance behavior.

Isn't 2nd Thanksgiving a great idea? It's named after 2nd Breakfast from The Lord of the Rings. We thought we were very clever when we adapted the term 2nd Breakfast to 2nd Thanksgiving. (Hobbits scare me, but in this case I find them amusing)
Why 2nd Thanksgiving you ask?
Well, a few reasons:
1. Cooking on Thanksgiving is hard to do with my work schedule. I certainly have cooked and hosted in years past, but then having to work at midnight amongst the crazy people, puts a damper on things. I like my wine and cocktails - and if I have to work, wine and cocktails are off the menu. And lets face it, not only can you not really relax, after hosting a feast, you are pooped!
2. I love to cook a turkey. And I cook a bitchin good turkey. It's true.
3. I love having turkey leftovers. Who doesn't? And going to someones house and taking their turkey leftovers seems wrong to me. You know that secretly at night they curse you under their breath because you left with the best leftovers. It's easier to just say, "no leftovers for me, I am hosting 2nd Thanksgiving and will have plenty of my own."
4. You get to have all of your favorite Thanksgiving side dishes that you may have missed out on during 1st Thanksgiving. (I am super excited about my cornbread sausage stuffing)


I am a bit disappointed that I have been avoiding normal duties. It's just that things have gotten in the way.
Like I prefer to come home and relax. Take a hot bath and dance around in my underwear over doing something horrible like dusting or picking up.

Speaking of dancing - I have been pretty well trapped and tied to the songs on my ipod. I have probably 1000 songs. I don't have much patience for radio, but last week, I had a rental car with satellite radio and became quite infatuated with Ke$ha. I am loving her sleazy little songs! I have added a few to my playlist now - and they seem to put an extra bounce into Project Ass Reduction. I am kind of a fan. Tik Tok!

I'm talking about everybody getting crunk, crunkBoys tryin' to touch my junk, junkGonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk

I also highly recommend Nelly's song Just a Dream. It is great and makes you get your groove on. i was thinkin about herthinkin about methinkin about uswhere we gunna beopen my eyes...it was only just a dreamso i travel back down that roadwish you come backno one knowsi realize, it was only just a dream

And that song Like a G6 is AWESOME! Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzardWhen we drink we do it right gettin slizzardSippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6Like a G6, Like a G6Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6. That is a badass hook.

And anything by Flo-Rida.

And yes, I like Katy Perry too. I want to be as pretty as her. I think I will add her to the list of people I want to be like when I grow up.

Wow, this was very revealing information. You are now very aware of the current songs I am singing loudly in my car. Obviously there has been a great deal of car dancing happening. You know what is on my ipod when I am on the stairmaster and pounding the pavement and dancing at home. I continue to be wowed by my own vocal stylings too. I seriously need to pursue my lounge singing career. I can sound like Johnny Cash singing Cocaine Blues or harmonize with Lenny Kravitz...(who by the way still records only on tape - he is anti digital - something about the reverb on tape) ....and it is unbelievable! If you thought that was Fergie singing with the Black Eyed Peas....check again, it was probably me you heard singing in my car. Someone call a producer and get to work on forming my one woman show.


I wish I was a 20something again and could justify liking bad top 40 music again and dancing in clubs all night long. I did enjoy dancing the night away with Jean Claude in New York. The gay Belgium photographer. It's fun to dance in gay clubs because everyone thinks you are pretty, wishes they had your boobs and the grabbing is completely non-threatening.
Getting old sucks.
Thus I resort to dancing in my underwear at home.


However, I was carded last week. Twice.
And not because I was buying wine at Wegman's where even if you are 98 you get carded.
I was having sushi with my parents and YOUNGER sister when the waitress didn't believe I was old enough to have the wine!
oh the sheer joy! i wanted to hug her! Arigatou - gozaimasu!

And then the next night, the hot waiter that looked like Michael Buble also questioned my age in order to have a glass of prosecco.
Umm, hello? Hot young michael buble waiter thinks I'm younger than him?
The Gods were smiling on me.
I am going back to that restaurant, sitting at his table again and tipping him big time.
But seriously - Santi is a great restaurant and I highly recommend it. The pappardelle makes me weak in the knees. (maybe even more than hot-young-michael-buble-waiter)
(and don't worry, My Mommy paid and I made sure she tipped hotty well)

Of course, my lovely sister had to point out that both of them were taking pity on the old lady at the table and probably trying to be kind to my feeble self.
Love you to Sis!

Ok, so lets wrap up the random that this post has become. Since we just talked about hot waiters - lets lead into my final obsession and joy.
I know. You are sick of hearing about him.
But can I just tell you that it looks like I will be face to face with Mike Green #52 of the Washington Capitals in the very near future?!
OMG!
I know! I am freaking out with happiness and joy.
What if I actually get to touch him for a photo?!?!?
OMG!
He's like the ultimate man of my dreams......what a dish.
Let's just say that one of my best Christmas gifts ever includes some sort of backstage pass to the hockey player of my dreams. I don't have all the details....but they include live hockey players. I will be wrapped in #52 paraphernalia so they will be forced to humor the old lady and send him into see me.
(eew...I sound like a cougar!)
I will keep you posted.



Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Giving Thanks




I'm Thankful that I am related to these people.
Fun times.
And all of them have great fashion sense and dance moves.
They all know how to have fun and not take themselves too seriously.
You know that if you are not related to me - you wish you were.
And of course - there is no denying why they crack me up.

Both sides of my family rock.
Shout out to the Boyle/Moyer/Cenci/Tanfani clans!




I'm thankful that I found this picture of my dad on his honeymoon in my grandparent's bible.
That's right.
It was in the family Bible.
My own first communion photo was shoved in a miscellaneous drawer - but this gem was tucked into the new testament.
Clearly, it was critical to document this moment and then share it with parents.
It gave me great joy and howls of laughter when I found it.
Love the sideburns dad.

















I am thankful that I have great hair. I mean, c'mon.
I know, I complain about bad hair days - but my hair is great. Thanks in part to my family and my dad and mom's good genes. It takes color well and looks good in all lengths.
I'm also thankful for apples. I love the slices that are pre-done in the grocery store. I hate cutting apples and I hate the brown stuff. These are pre-cut and never turn brown.
Thankful for books - even though I am going to breakdown and get the kindle, I still love books surrounding me. Thankful for the Cats and Dogs in my life. In a year of lots of family pet tragedy - I'm glad they all brought us such joy. Thankful for Every Day I get to live and be happy, For the Friends and Family that fill my life. (and Edward Cullen) Thankful for God and Google. Thankful for Harry Potter. I hated the idea of Harry Potter - than I read it and now I am a woman possessed. Send me a message on my phone and the Harry Potter music plays. I'm thankful for India Hicks. She makes me smell good and keeps my skin soft. I'm thankful for J. Who invented the Bubble Room again?! I'm thankful for Kristen my fabulous sister. I'm thankful for Love. I get it everyday and am grateful beyond words. I'm thankful for Men. You guys make the world so much fun. I'm thankful for Naps. And appreciate every single one I get to take. Whether it be stretched out in the sun or curled up under a blanket. I'm thankful for Opinions. I love to give them and love to hear them. Thanks for sharing this year. I'm thankful for Prayers that are answered. I'm thankful for Quiet moments. Goodness knows I cherish them. I'm thankful for the Rack. Thank you Nordstrom for putting big feet shoes in your stores. I'm thankful for Smart people. I'm thankful for Time. It's nice to be here and enjoying this crazy world. I'm thankful for Underwear. Most especially spanx on special occasions. I'm thankful for visits to my favorite places, xtra time with people I love and that Zumba exists.
Don't forget to count your own blessings!
And thanks for being one of mine this year!
Happy Thanksgiving!



Monday, November 15, 2010

Fascinating Fall Facts



It has not been a blogging year for me.
That is really too bad.
I enjoy my blog and usually manage to crack myself up. And if nobody else reads it.....
At least I think I'm funny.




But what is really funny is my recent discovery of people that search for and end up at my blog.
It cracks me up!
People I don't know come and read this stuff!
Some of my most favorite posts are the most searched and read.
and the irony is - if you read the search words, you could almost write my biography. It has that which I love, and that which I most fear. (JELLO)!!!! oh the horror!

check out these search phrases:
green jello brain waves
do you renounce satan
kelly cutrone love spit love
love spit love kelly cutrone
santa cleopatra
michael francis rizzi
best selling jello flavor
jello
love.spit.love kelly cutrone
michael do you renounce satan

I am also wildly popular in Russia and Estonia. who knew?