The Ramble of Angst....

The following things have been on my mind and of great concern to me lately. Here they are in no particular order.
The Economy
My hair
Project Ass Reduction
Weird Dreams
My inability to get anything done lately.

Ok, so each and every day, the economy weighs heavily on my brain. I don't know a great deal about economics, I don't recall ever really paying attention in my economics class, and quite honestly, I never have had a lot of money. I read the paper, I listen to the news, I read magazine articles and listen to talk shows....and listen to podcasts like this. It helps my pea brain wrap itself around the issues.
I was trying to be optimistic to all my employees.
Then it came crashing down on me a week or so ago, when I had to announce to all of my managers that the company was putting a pay freeze in place for the next 12 months. On top of that, we would not be matching 401K contributions for the next 12 months. Ouchy.
Each day, sales are worse and worse. The saddest part is that I am happy when I am down 30% and the rest of the districts are down 40%. I worry, I try to be grateful to have a job, but it is hard to carry the burden of worry for my entire team.

My Hair - I currently hate it. I am afraid that my cut is growing out to "the Rachel" cut.....AAAgggh.
But, I have decided to grow it to donate it again before I have lots of gray hair. As I worry like I do, I fear I may sprout more and more gray!
The color is also not good. I thought it was good, and then two people told me I looked tired and washed out.
Thanks for the honesty and making me feel like crap.
Another friend told me to go darker, she said I was losing my italianess....Hi, I was born with light colored hair, so shut up.
But, they may be right. This sucks, and I can't believe I am even giving a shit.

Project Ass Reduction ~ good grief. I feel like a fat ass ok? I hate halloween and the damn small snickers bars. I never during the year eat snickers bars like I do during the month of October. I think I can take any temptation over snickers bars at Halloween. To make it even more painful 1 week ago, I put on a pair of pants...ok good.
The next week, I put them on again and they would not button. Utter, total and complete fat ass melt down. I cried.
Happily, I did realize it was the pre-menstrual bloat and hopefully next week I can button the damn pants again.
I hate that my metabolism is that of a sloth.
I hate that I have to move my body every single day in order to maintain a reasonable body weight.
I hate that this bothers me so much.

Weird Dreams - Monday night I dreamt I was arrested for shoplifting towels from Saks Fifth Avenue. Do they even sell towels? And the worst part was, my boss was calling me on my cell phone yelling at me for missing a conference call. I couldn't even be arrested without being bothered by work. Last night I dreamt I was pulled over and arrested while driving. I don't know what I did wrong! But the policeman ended up coming with me to where I was going. He was very handsome, and I think I was supposed to be in love with him....but then work called and I had to leave.
I am exhausted when I wake up, too busy explaining my arrests and worrying about not missing conference calls.

My inability to get anything done ~ It is November, Thanksgiving is weeks away. I have no Christmas Cards - normally they are done in October, I am cooking Thanksgiving, I have no idea what the menu is. My home is dirty. I have no idea when I will clean it. The list goes on and on. My priorities are in the toilet....which also needs to be cleaned. I can't focus.
Perhaps, if I spent more time on important things, and less time griping, I would not be in this predicament.