Mary and the Mantra

Post holiday blues?....

Not so much.

I am actually feeling really good.

Perhaps it is because I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of 2008.

2008 is going to be a stellar year.

I can feel it.

I plan on willing it to happen.

My mantra: 2008 is a great year for Annette. 2008 is a great year for Annette. 2008 is a great year for Annette.

I wanted to make my mantra easy to say. Note that the mantra does not include will be, can be, could be.....the secret of the mantra is that it has to be a positive affirmation.

I am also repeating it 3 times. I figure since you must say a Hail Mary three times to invoke the blessings of the Blessed Mother.....it can't hurt to say my mantra three times to invoke the blessings of 2008 on my life.

I'm hoping that the combination of the tri-mantra and the tri-hail mary will work out well.

C'mon Mary ~ help a sister out.

Yorkshire Pudding Day.....Revisited

Tuesday, 12.25.2007






Returning from Midnight Mass at 2am......I still had breakfast to prep for the morning.
Egg thing happily comes together quickly...and after winding down, I was tucked in bed by 3:30am.

Christmas Day was a glorious day.
The sun was shining.....the sky was a crystal clear blue.

Pop and I woke first.....we spent the early morning hours drinking coffee, eating christmas cookies and wearing our paper crowns.
Pop told me the story of being discharged from the army on Christmas Day in 1945. He had spent 2 years, 11 months and 25 days in the the army.
He called home and asked them to come and pick him up.
The family was not expecting the call.....and apparently dropped everything and headed down in a terrible snowstorm to get him.
His mother had never seen her son in uniform. He had been gone from his family the entire time....never once with a leave home.
As he waited for the family to arrive, he and a buddy volunteered to be the altar boys at Christmas Mass. It was the last mass he ever served, and the last day in the army. Ironically, it was also the last day he ever ate turkey on Christmas Day.
While Pop and I were chatting - I popped 'egg thing' into the oven - easily figuring that by the time everyone else was up, egg thing would be ready to eat!

As the natives slowly rose, paper hats were adorned and we settled down to eat again!
I handed out stockings to everyone......
I love stockings. I think that the best gifts come from stockings....
Once stockings had been opened we gathered around the Christmas tree and began to hand out presents to open.
As usual, the opening was a flurry of ribbons, papers and the cats jumping on paper and running off with strings of ribbon caught between their little legs.......
With gifts opened, we began our holiday morning calls to all points of the country.....

• With the beautiful weather.....I announced I was going to take a walk outdoors......Pop decided to join me..While it was not my normal brisk walk/run......it was nice to share the time with him....and we walked along wishing Merry Christmas to all the other families that seemed to have the same idea!
  The remainder of the day was very low key, very relaxed.
  
  I began prepping dinner a bit early....Knowing that everything would come together quickly at the end.
  My Christmas Day Menu:
  
  Standing Rib Roast
• Yorkshire Pudding
• Roasted Asparagus with Walnut Oil
• Chive Potato Gratin

This was my first attempt at Yorkshire Pudding ~ and I had never even eaten Yorkshire Pudding before.
It was really yummy. It was really fattening. It was worth it!
The roast was a beauty.....I roasted it simply and finished a pan gravy with the drippings, beef stock, heavy cream and butter.....It was a decadent gravy.
Roasting vegetables is my preferred way of cooking all veggies.....and these came out wonderfully. The walnut oil added a nice warmth to the dish.
During dinner we pulled out another bottle of wine, Pop enjoyed some Manhattens and we over indulged in dinner. Fantastic.

Thanks for the Card!

I used this title for another post earlier last week.
Now that the nightmare of that is over.....I decided to use the title again....only for a different subject.

I received a card from my buddy Nikelle. It was a holiday card that was a gift card to The Limited.

Inside she wrote:
Annette,
You are not the fat girl in the mirror anymore!
Merry Christmas,
Nikelle

It was the perfect card. It made me feel good again. Today she told me that she picked it because only 'skinny bitches' shop at The Limited. Apparently I am now a skinny bitch.
How awesome is that?
On top of being, in her opinion, a skinny bitch....she also wanted me to forget the statement that had been made to me 2 weeks prior.

I had been discussing my ongoing 'body image' issues with another woman. This particular woman has gone up and down the scale for many years. When I told her that I looked in the mirror and saw the same person everytime....she immediatey piped in, "hey...no matter what, you will always be the fat girl in the mirror"

nice. thanks for the positive feedback.

Lesson learned, if you want positivity, don't ask a miserable person.

So thank you Nikelle, for the gift, and for the laugh!
There is a new skinny bitch in town!

Eve Revisited...

Monday, 12.24.2007

I awoke early to head to the grocery store. I had pre-ordered a standing rib roast for Christmas Day....and had attempted to pre-order clams. The fish man basically said, too bad so sad...no pre-orders on clams allowed. I asked him for the scoop on what time I would need to get there to get what I wanted, and he said 6am.

So I woke at 5:30am and out the door I went, list #2 in hand.

Pop decided to join me. He is an early riser and I welcomed the company. We headed to the fish counter first. I bought mussels, clams, calamari, scallops, shrimp, crab, and stuffed trout. Popped to the meat counter for my rib roast.....scooped up the missing lemons....drat...still no basil! A few hundred dollars later, we returned home....looking like Bob Cratchit loaded down with holiday goodies.

I decided to get some excercise in...knowing I would be indulging for the next few days...so onto the treadmill for a mere 30 minutes....so much to do! So little time!

I headed home and fed everyone lunch, finished baking the last batch of cookies..then off to the store to finish the Christmas shopping. Remarkably, I finished in one hour! I was slightly terrified that this indicated that my own stores would be having a bad day....where was everyone?! (apparently not in the mall I was in)

Came home - wrapped the final gifts....and suddenly became aware that I still had not dressed, prepared any of the evening meal or even showered! Yikes.

The time was ticking down....and I began to prep my meal. I knew I would be smelling like a calamari in garlic....(and not in a good way) so the shower would come after.....

My final menu was:

• Clams Casino
• Seafood Medley Salad
• Fennel and Orange Salad
• Linguine with Red Clam Sauce
• Stuffed Calamari
• Stuffed Trout

I began on the medley first.....the individual fish are quickly boiled and then all are tossed in a simple vinagrette. I used a meyer lemon infused olive oil, garlic and lemon juice....rounded it out with flat leaf parsley and let the flavors mellow for a few hours.

Next, I sliced my oranges, red onion and fennel - they were tossed in a simple vinagrette also.

The stuffed calamari was prepped - see recipe in post below. I was really pleased with myself on this dish....I prepped the cheese sauce, piped it into the bodies and then refrigerated the whole thing....as it cooked, the calamari held their shape and the sauce did not oooozzze everywhere.

The clam sauce would come together simply at the last minute.....and I had cheated by purchasing a ready to pop in the oven trout!

I laid out a platter of assorted olives ~ maddalena, sicilian, blue cheese stuffed (thinking how wonderful they would be in a martini)....Next came brandy snifters of marcona almonds placed here and there and I sliced a baguette and put out a dish of the meyer lemon olive oil for dipping.

The Asti Spumante was chilling ~ it would not be Christmas Eve without it! and I had a lovely bottle of J pinot grigio chilling too.

I went to dress and decided on my Isacc Mizrahi Special ~ this dress is so cute and very comfy...I knew I was in for the long haul with Midnight Mass on the agenda. With no time to do the hair, I opted for the sleek bun and was ready to get the party started....

The table was set with my favorite red table cloth, green plates and topped with red napkins and Christmas Crackers.....(much to the horror of my family ~ I have forced this oh-so-British holiday tradition on my Italian/Irish family) I love the Christmas Cracker! It pops, it's festive, it has a prize in side and comes with a fashionable paper hat! Accessories to go that look fabulous on everyone! Why wouldn't you love that?!

I began to pour the Asti ~ I was feeling a bit of the holiday stress.

Holiday stress = Annette trying to be perfect in an imperfect world

Asti + Annette = What holiday stress?

The guests began to arrive - and I put the men to work at opening my clams for the clams casino. A side note here....I am terrified of cutting myself opening clams. I love clams, I love to eat clams, but I can't open the suckers. And I know it is because I am afraid of needing stitches.

The holiday music was playing, the Asti and wine were flowing, the clams were being filled ~ and I could feel Christmas surrounding me!

I adore Christmas Eve. I adore being surrounded by people I love and sharing this night with them. The clams were ready and everyone was served. To me, they tasted just like Christmas. I thought of my Nonnie and all the years she made this dish for us......I thought of my sister who hates clams but always wants the casino part in the empty shell.....I thought of Nunu arguing with Dad and Uncle Gerry about the best way to open a clam....I thought about Jack Roses, and gifts opening and cocktails and laughter.....I recalled the year of the two fisted cocktails. One in each hand!!!

As we enjoyed the first course, I finished and set out to make my clam sauce.....some onion, garlic, red pepper flakes and olive oil........clams, fresh tomatoes, fresh oregano.....tossed in the pasta....topped with parsley and parmigiano cheese..... We gathered everyone around the table and cracked open the crackers! With party hats on, it was now time to eat!

The pasta was delicious....and as we enjoyed...the salads were put out to come to room temperature....and the stuffed fishes in the oven...

I served the remaining courses buffet style.....

With the meal coming to a close, we began to tell stories of Christmas' past. We finished more bottles of wine.....set the advent wreath on fire....(doused it out with my Aqua Panna water) only after blowing on it and trying to snuff it out with my beautiful cloth napkins failed to work. Credit to my guests who tried to recall thier firefighting skills while being slightly toasted.

We pulled out the platters of cookies and cakes....enjoyed coffee and a gift exchange. As the evening was winding down....It was time to head to Midnight Mass. My guests said thier good-byes and Nan and Pop and I headed for the church.

As we walked into the church.....it took my breath away. The altar was flanked on both sides by two christmas trees filled with white lights....dozens of pointsettias lined the altar in front and behind.....candles were blazing and the lights were all dimmed. The church was full of people...all silent and reverent for the mass.

The bell rung and a man began to sing the Christmas Prelude ~ it gave me chills it was so beautiful.

We sang O Come Let Us Adore Him, the Kyrie was done in the Messe Breve in C...during the presentation of gifts the choir sang For Unto us a Child is Born from the Messiah, the Sanctus in Latin, During communion the choir sang the Nativity Carol and In the Bleak Midwinter and then the entire congregation joined in on Silent Night.....and finally Hark the Herald Angels Sing for the recessional....

It was a beautiful mass.....and a beautiful ending to a wonderful day.

Christmas Weekend Revisted Part 1

Success!
The holiday came off beautifully.

I live in fear of building holidays up in my mind and then having them dissappoint. You often hear of that happening to so many people.....Often I have assumed that eventually...... it would happen to me.
It didn't.

Happily....another holiday unscathed. No disappointments, no let downs. I allowed myself to enjoy the moments for what they were and let gratitude fill the days.

Friday evening, 12.21.07

I finished work and drove to New Jersey. The purpose of this journey was to pick up my grandparents and bring them back to Virginia with me for the holiday. They are too old to drive and I know for a fact....that at 86 and 84 years old, our holidays together are limited.

I did not allow myself to grumble at the traffic or the bad drivers. Instead, I listened to my music, made some holiday cheer phone calls and enjoyed the 3 1/2 hours of solitude in the car. Upon arriving in New Jersey, I was lucky to not have to parallel park my car! Hooray, a space was open and I slid right in!

Nan and Pop had waited up for me....we visited for a few hours before heading off to bed. My plan was to do a bit of my "office" work in the morning and hit the road for Virgina at 1:30pm.

Saturday, 12.22.07

Woke up late. aaaggh

Are you familiar with that panic feeling at waking up later than intended? You are tired, groggy and trying to jump out of bed as fast as possible....as if jumping out quickly will make up for the extra hour you slept. I rushed downstairs in a panic to turn on my laptop and catch up with any crisis that may have occured since shutting down at 2:30am.

No crisis.

I began making the calls, sending the emails.......all the while fielding questions from the kitchen about what did I want for breakfast? did i want an orange? how about a banana? (Nan has a thing about fruit consumption in the morning) I chose the banana.

The day progressed and shocking - I was not able to leave on time. One thing after another came up with work....not allowing me time away from email and the phones.

Nan and Pop busied themselves packing and deciding what to wear. Raincoat or winter coat? Dress or skirt? We also decided that they should open thier presents from California before we left.....Let the festivities begin!

With gifts openend, we loaded the car and began our ride to Virginia. As the hours passed, I began to realize all of the "to do's" that still had to be done.

In my mind, I planned to feed Nan and Pop before arriving home. Besides, I had not a scrap of food in the house. I needed to get to the grocery store and buy list #1 that I had prepped thru the week, had to decide on the final menu for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, had to complete list #2 for final grocery store run, had to complete Christmas shopping, wrap gifts, finish final batch of cookies.

I knew that feeding Nan and Pop would have to involve a restaurant that served basic food that would be hot, and include soup or salad, and vegetable and starch......Being limited on my choices, I opted for the Cracker Barrel. Nan had chicken and dumplings with carrots and fried apples. Pop had pot roast with carrots and mashed pototoes and green beans. (He actually pointed to the picture in the menu and said, "bring me exactly that") Much to my chagrin the vegetables were clearly from a can and cooked to mush......luckily, that is just the way Nan and Pop like them.

With the grandparents fed, we headed for home. I dropped them off, unloaded the car and put in a movie for them to watch as I went to the grocery store. With "It's a Wonderful Life" playing I headed for the store.

The grocery store on the Saturday before Christmas....I prepped myself for chaos....but because it was after 8pm...it was quiet! Hooray! I ran up and down the aisles making my selections. Being motivated by my houseguests, I knew that I had to have plenty of fruit. I also had to buy a tea kettle. They love hot tea for lunch and dinner. I quickly crossed off my list and only had a few items that had to be moved to list #2. Apparently they had a run on basil and lemons. I came home just in time to see George Baily rescue Clarence from the river.

I unloaded the groceries, tucked everyone into bed with strict instructions that we would be going to 10:30am mass on Sunday.

Sunday, 12.23.07

I arose early and headed to the gym. Ran a few miles on the treadmill, lifted some weights knowing that I would be sleevless for the symphony performance. (somehow convincing myself that a few reps on the weight machines would give me instant muscle definition instead of flab) Returning home, the grandparents were already awake and ready for church. We attended mass and left for the Kennedy Center. We were pressed for time. The priest had felt a little long winded and now we had less than one hour to get there, park and find our seats. And of course, with older folks, you can't make them hurry.

It was fun to watch them ooh and aah at the Washington sites....Nan asked about 8 times if that was the Potomac River..."yes, Nan"

Pop marveled at the Watergate....isn't that where Nixon got himself into trouble?...."yes, Pop"

We were fortunate to find parking rather quickly, up the escalators we went....made a quick stop to the bathroom....(well kind of quick, they are old) and made it to our box seats. We were at the symphony for a performance of Handels "Messiah" My favorite part is "For Unto Us a Child is Born"......the rest....not so much. I was actually disappointed in the performances of the soloists....

On the upside, my favorite cello man was there....I enjoy watching him. Nan did fall asleep, which made me giggle....but she is 86! She can sleep whenever she wants! Of course, she claimed to just be resting her eyes.....she thought the music was lovely. Her favorite part was the older woman playing the violin. Nan was convinced that the woman had to be in her 80's and wasn't that just fantastic that she was still performing. I did not see this woman and can't weigh in on whether or not she was 80 plus.

With the performance over, it was once again time to eat! Old people are on a very tight eating schedule.....and the days events were preventing the preferred timelines....once again, I knew we needed to have soup or salad, entree with vegetable and starch included. We took them to a diner type establishment....I thought the food was terrible....they loved it!

We drove home and enjoyed the holiday lights....had a hot cup of tea...some of Nan's wonderful cake...enjoyed some cookies from Cat Boy....and off to bed they went.

It's A Wonderful Life!

Despite the challenges of the last few days......It is still the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

I wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas.

Enjoy your family and friends.....and take time to enjoy the season....

Thank You Mary J

A little Mary J Blige goes a long way in making a girl feel like a strong and powerful woman.
This is my high praise and recommendation for her new album Growing Pains....
That is all.

Calamari

This is so simple to make and quite lovely to eat.

Stuffed Calamari
Christmas Eve to our Italian family means the famous ‘Feast of Seven Fishes’ – this is a favorite – and just one course of a 5 course meal! You could serve this alone as a meal with a green salad and a glass of Pinot Grigio! (or pinot gris)

1 lb of Calamari bodies (tubes)
1 lb of crab meat

Cheese Sauce:
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons of all purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup of milk
1 cup shredded sharp natural cheddar cheese

melt butter in saucepan over low heat, blend in the flour, salt and dash of white pepper. Add milk all at once, cook quickly stirring constantly, till mixture thickens and bubbles. Remove sauce from heat when it bubbles. Add cheese stirring till smooth . Add the crab meat to the cheese sauce stir.

stuff the calamari bodies with the cheese crab sauce, place in a baking dish and add pad of butter generally one pad for each body. Bake in the oven at 325 degrees for about 30 minutes. Do not overcook bodies will be tough if cooked to long.

Traditional Feast Offerings

Scrambled Egg Casserole (aka – Egg Thing)

A Christmas morning favorite in the Cenci family for nearly 25 years! We prepare on Christmas Eve – using the leftover bread from our Italian Christmas Eve ‘feast of seven fishes’. Christmas morning it goes into the oven and is ready to eat when all the gifts have been opened!

1 baguette (cut into slices)
1/2 lb of grated cheddar cheese
6 eggs
2 1/4 cups of milk

Place bread in greased 9 x 13 inch pan. Sprinkle cheese over bread. Beat eggs in a bowl; add milk and mix. Pour over cheese and bread. Cover with thinly sliced ham, bacon or sausage. Put in refrigerator overnight. Bake at 350 degrees for 45-55 minutes.

Yuletide Carol Riddler ~ Give it a whirl

The following words are alternate titles for several well known Christmas Carols.

1. Quadruped with a crimson proboscis
2. Eight PM to six AM without noise
3. Miniscule hamlet in the Middle East.
4. Ancient benevolent despot.
5. Exuberance directed to the planet.
6. Adorn the vestibule.
7. Listen, aerial spirits announcing.
8. Trio of monarchs.
9. Yonder in the haystack.
10. Cherubim audited from aloft.
11. Assemble, everyone who believes
12. Hallowed post meridian.
13. Fantasies of a colorless Dec. 25th.
14. Tin tinniculations
15. A dozen 24 hour Yule periods.
16. Befell during the transparent
bewitching hour.
17. Homo sapien of crystallized vapor.
18. Desire a pair of incisors on Dec. 25th.
19. I spied my maternal parent osculating.
20. Perambulating through a December
solstice fantasy.

RESULTS:
15-20 You are filled with yuletide spirit.
10-14 You could use a little something in your stocking.
5-9 Are you sure you have the right holiday?
0-4 You win a lobotomy at the hospital of your choice.

Yikes!

7 hours in an emergency room waiting area today.
Thankfully, all is well......I was waiting on the patient....(she is fine)

I am pooped.
I am planning on submerging my body in antibacteral liquids asap.

Why do emergencies take so long?

Hazy Shade of Winter

How strange that today at work, this song turned up on our compilation holiday CD...we have a muzak type system - and I almost fell over when this song came on. Amidst the songs of reindeers and chestnuts...was The Bangles! I have to admit to rocking out to this song. I loved that movie Less Than Zero, I credit it for the reason I never turned to drugs and alcohol.
(Requiem for a Dream had the same effect on me too)

Alas, I am adding it to my own Christmas mix.....it is a pleasant and unexpected surprise!

And shocking ~ I do like this version better than the Simon and Garfunkel one.

Happy Christmas

A friend of mine took an old photo of me and made it into an art project. It makes me happy.
I feel he gave it a bit of a Warhol treatment, and it was one of the best things anyone ever gave me.

Charles Dickens said, "Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood..."

I still remember that mouseketeer doll that I was so lovingly clutching to my chest, and there in the background sits my mother's ceramic christmas tree on a bed of angel hair. (Angel hair was spun glass that could cut you...so I was always careful not to mess with it!)

This is the kind of happiness we all need to remember when we start to get caught up in the stress of the season.....

Christmas Lights

I love Christmas lights.
I love getting in the car and driving around the neighborhood to see Christmas lights.
I love the color of Christmas lights.
I don't like blinking Christmas lights.
I don't like Christmas lights after January 6th.
That is all.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

My tree has ornaments that were given to me from the year I was born...My tree is awesome. This is my second Christmas going with the multi-colored lights. Usually I prefer white...but these are quite festive.

Nonnie made this for me in 1975....it would not be Christmas without him! My mother always filled him with hershey kisses...I hate hershey kisses, but have the urge to fill him with those for nostalgia's sake.

Nana's ceramic tree ~ when I was growing up everyone had one of these! I was so excited when Nan let me take it home last year....isn't it divine?

So far I have completed the following:

Christmas tree up and decorated!
Exterior lights up! and they are LED this year!
Christmas Cards signed, sealed, addressed ~ I still need stamps.
Manager holiday gifts bought ~ sadly, I could not complete all 20 scarves. I am going to make that next years gift...it will give me more time.
Symphony Tickets purchased for the 23rd! ~ can't wait to surprise the Grandparents with these!
3 Christmas Gifts purchased!
One batch of cookies done!
Christmas Eve guest list confirmed!
Preliminary planning of the Christmas Eve menu ~ feast of 7 fishes!

Body Image Issues in December

Just when I think I can't find something to gripe about.....taa-daa! Body images issues.

I am having bad body image issues. Bad to the point that I want to eat an entire chocolate cake and make myself feel bad about it.

Isn't that awful? I have lost a great deal of weight in the last year, and now, here I am, in a size smaller than I ever thought possible....and when I look in the mirror I don't see any difference.

But then I look at photos and see a big difference.
Why, in the month of December - when I should be happy and joyous, am I letting myself feel crappy about how I look?

So I am goig to take the following steps to improve my body image....and then I am going to eat a Bocca di Nonna cookie.

How Can I Improve My Body Image?

Body image can be a hard thing to change. We get used to giving ourselves negative feedback about the way we look. Thinking negatively about one's self can become an addiction. Like smoking, thinking negatively about one's body is a habit that is hard but important to break. There is no sure-fire or easy way to achieve good body image and, once achieved, maintaining positive body image takes work and persistence! Some tips for improving one's body image include:

Consciously fight every bad thought about yourself: recognize when you are being critical of yourself and remind yourself to be kind.
Speak to yourself only as you would speak to a friend, family member or someone you love.
Consciously focus on the things about you that you like. Be proud of these things!
Criticize the images that make you feel uncomfortable with yourself; try to recognize why these images are being presented to you (what are they trying to sell?) and realize that your bad self image helps to sell a product or an idea

Bocca Di Nonna Cookies ~ AKA Earl Grey Yummies

2/3 cup all-purpose flour
2 tbsp. Dutch-process unsweetened cocoa powder
3/4 cup butter, softened
1 cup sugar
3/4 tsp. vanilla
1 1/2 cups finely ground blanched almonds

1. in a small bowl, stir together flour and cocoa powder, set aside.
2. in a large bowl, beat butter with an electric mixer on medium to high speed for 30 seconds. Add sugar and vanilla. Beat until light and fluffy, scraping side of bowl occasionally. Beat in almonds. Beat in flour mixture just until mixture is combined. Cover; chill dough about 1 hour or until easy to handle.
3. preheat oven to 350. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper. Shape dough into 1 inch balls. Place balls 2" apart on prepared cookie sheet. Press each ball to flatten slightly.
4. Bake in preheated oven for 12 to 15 minutes or until firm. Cool on cookie sheet on wire rack. Remove cooled cookies from cookie sheet. Spread about 1 tsp of Earl Grey Ganache on the flat side of each of half the cookies. Top with remaining cookies, flat sides down.

Makes 28 sandwich cookies

Earl Grey Ganache
1/3 cup whipping cream
4 earl grey teabags (or a tea ball with 4tsp of Earl Grey tea)
4 oz. milk chocolate (finely chopped)

1. in a small saucepan, bring 1/3 cup whipping cream to boiling. Remove from heat. Add the tea bags. Cover and let stand for 15 minutes. Remove tea bags from cream. Squeeze tea bags with the back of a spoon to release any liquid.
2. return cream to boiling. Remove from heat. Immediately add chopped chocolate. stir until chocolate melts and mixture is shiny and smooth. Cool mixture to room temperature.

To store: Layer sandwich cookies between waxed paper in an airtight container, cover. Store for up to 3 days.