Mom Made It Happen

I have a fondness for myself that perhaps borders on narcissiscm.

I can't help it. I like me.

Do I perhaps need therapy? Could I dig a bit deeper into the psyche to find out why I do what I do? Sure!

But at the end of the day, I am really happy with the person I am.

I only have a handful of people to thank for that....and Mom is one of them.

(that's me in there!------------------------------>)

I have a closeness to my Mom that I feel is very special - mainly because for the first few years of me - it was just the two of us.

And let's face it.....we were both kids. My mom 22 and me a newborn.

She spent her early 20's with a baby,toddler, and a preschooler......Dad was off in the Navy....gone for months at a time. We were on our own.

Because of this, I think Mom and I became each other's best friend.
Every early memory is of Mom.

She has even told the story of my birth so much....that I felt like I was a witness to the whole thing!

It is as if my own birth was my first memory......all thanks to the memories of my Mom.

I was an overdue baby.

I was also huge. 9lbs 8oz If memory serves.

Mom was scheduled to have a C-section because I didn't seem to be coming anytime soon

(i always do prefer to do things on my own timeline)

She had plans to visit my Dad's family for her favorite dinner, my Grandmother made a cheese and mushroom stuffed chicken breast that Mom loved.

Unfortunately, labor started and she had to miss dinner to go to the hospital.

She was pissed.

(isn't it nice that she let's me know all these years later that the very first thing I did....pissed her off)

In 1972, Mom was a bit naive.

When her water broke in the hospital, she was mortified.

1. she had no idea what just happened - she thought she peed herself

2. her own mother was an OB nurse in the hospital (maybe a little motherly advice about the birthing process was in order here Nan?)

3. on top of her mother being there, so was her aunt, and my dad's aunt - all OB nurses - and all there to witness the wonder of wonders that was to be my birth!

Mom was also pissed because my Dad was not there. He was on a ship in the middle of the Mediterranean. I can't imagine being alone, in pain and you just wet yourself in front of everyone.

The next bit of the story is hazy - I don't know why or how, but Mom does not really recall the birth.

And now, she says giving birth is no big deal....she doesn't even remember it hurting.

!?!?!?!??!??!?!??!?!??!

You just pushed out a 9lb+ baby and don't remember?

Maybe there was a benefit to having relatives in the hospital. Maybe they were able to give you a little something to take the edge off.

shhhhh...we won't say a word. But it now seems possible Nan and Aunt Tina were dealing to pregnant women.

When I was born, out I came and everyone exclaimed over what a beautiful baby I was.

I know this, because my cousin Sandra was a candy striper in the same hospital at the time - and still says I was the prettiest baby ever. (our family was running that hospital)

"It's a girl!" "isn't she beautiful?" "look at how pretty"

My mother's reaction?

"eeeewww......that's what you call beautiful? she's ugly"

So let's recap.

First, I get in trouble for making her miss her favorite dinner.

Second, I am ugly.

Lucky for me - with the gaggle of grandma's, nonna's and aunts around - they whisked me off to my first photo shoot, so overcome with my beauty.

I am not kidding - there are about 20 different versions of newborn baby photos taken of me.

In some I am naked (like this one), in some I have on a shirt, some are close ups, most have me looking pissed.

No doubt because my own Mother has just called me ugly and now they are photographing me like the paparazzi getting the reaction shot from some down and out washed up celebrity whose mother has just written a tell all.

(aren't flashes bad for baby eyes?)

All these years my Mom blamed my poor vision on reading under the covers with a flashlight....hhhmmm

I spent my childhood years pouring over the album of photos of that day and the days that followed, asking Mom questions and having her retell the stories.

• Looking at Mom in the hospital bed with me inside her!


• Looking with horror at the awful, ugly baby that came out.....horrified by the umbilical cord! gross!


• More relieved to see the photos with shirts.


• Looking at my Grandparents holding me - none of them with gray hair.


• Seeing my Great Grandparents holding me - my only real memories of one of them from photos.


• My uncles and aunts - some so young they were still in high school......


• And the best part of that album - the photos of mom holding me with the biggest smile....and me, finally looking not so ugly.

I love you Mom ~ thanks for making the best memories!

Love,

Netterboo

Who the hell is Justin Bieber?

This kid is flippin everywhere.
Yet I have no earthly idea who he is.
Just seeing his picture and wacky hair makes me not want to dig deeper.
I tried to read the wikipedia info - but found myself reading it like this........
"Justin Bieber is a blah blah blah blah singer. Blah blah blah You Tube blah....."
You get the point.
This kid looks like boring white bread.
His hair is annoying.....(i'm sorry - I can't get past the bad hairdo.)
He looks 12 and gets more press than anyone - but apparently really bad press, because normal people still don't know what he does or the who the hell he is.

I did appreciate the comments left by some of you:

• I got the impression he was the New Jesus
• Melissa is just pissed he met the President
• Carla - like myself has no clue......(and she has kids! so I was hoping a few modern moms would enlighten me!

At the end of the day - I did manage to get that he sings songs called "Baby" "One Time" "Love Me" "Favorite Girl"

If I do word association - it sounds like he is a male teeny bopper version of Britney Spears.

(i think i did just throw up a little in my mouth)

Who the hell is Justin Bieber? Who the hell cares.

New and Improved!

The extras are really what it's all about.

I have added some "extras" to the panel on the left.

<------------------ yeah, over there.

I have a fondness for lists.

I make lists all the time. For work, for home - you name it.....

I find them months later falling out of magazines, under the refrigerator, stuck in the re-usable grocery bag.

I love lists!

Even when I finish things on a list, I seem to keep them around for awhile.

The awesome thing about a blog - is that I can keep all kinds of lists.

So I have added some for your enjoyment - but mainly for my enjoyment.

It's my blog world - and the 3 of you that actually read this are in it.

I have tried since starting this blog in 2007 to keep a list of the books I keep on my bedside and then a list of books I finally finished.

I keep a list of blogs I like to read etc....

So, I was thinking how my sister always mocks me for saying things like ' oh my gosh, that is my favorite......'

So I have added a list of current favorites. I'll keep adding and deleting as I change my fickle little head.

I added a list of the people I want to be when I grow up.

I also added a list of things to do before I die. This is a serious list - and deserves more contemplation. But the first 'to do' is really a great one.

The makers of Slumdog Millionaire missed a great opportunity in not casting me in the "Jai Ho" finale. I'm just saying.....

Mean People That Rock

As a general rule, I think I am a nice person.

True, I may talk smack about some people - but in general I am nice.
I don't like to make people feel bad. I don't like to lower self esteem.....or take cheap shots.
I like everyone to feel equal, appreciated and respected.

The only time I lose it is if:

• I flat out don't like you - I can't even be fake about people that bother me or do stupid things.
• You have chosen to take advantage of my niceness....game over.

As a boss, I think I am really nice.
Perhaps too nice sometimes.
Maybe I need to toughen up a bit.

I was reflecting that my 2 new favorite people on reality TV are Jeff Lewis and Kelly Cutrone.
Why?
Because they are mean.


I howl with laughter at the bluntness, the rudeness, the take no prisoners attitude.
When I grow up, I want to be just like them.
Probably more Kelly Cutrone than Jeff.

The Fabulous Kelly Cutrone:

A. Kelly lives in Manhatten.

B. Kelly basically wears the same outfit everyday and nobody mocks her. Black on Black on Black (aka Versace on Gucci on Chanel) yet it all looks a hot mess and I think she never combs her hair. I can get into that modern day "mean persona" its like Cruella DeVille only different.

C. Kelly hires mainly interns which has to keep her overhead low and allows her to abuse the most amount of people for the cheapest amount of money. Genius! These people want to work for her and the verbal abuse that Kelly gets to inflict is just a bonus for her! Talk about keeping workplace tension in check! If I could do that - I would not have neck spasms and need to do evening yoga while listening to buddhist chants every night.

D. Kelly used her first husband to gain a name that would help her go places. If I had a first husband that was famous, I like to think I would have exploited him for his connections. Of course, because I am nice - that never would have happened. (by the way - I am totally speculating on this - this is my own theory Kelly!)

E. Kelly works in a job that allows her to still talk like a teenager. "I mean....." "like" I love that shit.

F. Kelly admits that working with gorgeous people is awesome - I love that she embraces the shallow.

I am like, totally willing to take a job as a PR intern for People's Revolution.....and I will not cry, and I can print labels.

Jeff Lewis - if you compare the two - they are fairly similar.

But there are some differences. The main reasons I want to be like Jeff are as follows.

A. Jeff is really clean. I wish I could be that neat and perfect - yes he has a staff of about 20 that run his household - but he pitches in!

B. Jeff hires mainly interns - see notes above - Kelly Cutrone C.

C. Jeff works in a job that allows him to talk like a teenager - see notes above Kelly Cutrone E.

D. Jeff admits that working with gorgeous people is awesome - see notes above Kelly Cutrone F.

Ok - so I have now figured out that I basically want to be just like Kelly only without the messy hair and wrinkled clothes - I think I am seeing the Jeff Lewis connection!

A Tragedy of Epic Proportions.....

Ok, not really.....but it felt that way last Wednesday.

My boys lost in game 7 to the team seeded 8th.

Um hello.....we were #1!

We had the highest offensive scoring, best penalty kill and best power play. But like someone said.....that don't mean s#%t in the playoffs.

I am trying to learn to control my hockey angst.

It is hard.

I am certainly not over it. I have begun to stick pins and needles into a stuffed Penguin.

Anything but the Penguins winning. Please.

So now that hockey has ended a bit prematurely - it is time to look forward the the other joys of Spring and Summer.

Allergies, spring cleaning and hot weather.

Indeed, that it the true tragedy here.

This year has been brutal with the pollen. And the fact that the temperatures have hit nearly 90 the last few days puts me in a foul mood. (it was almost like living in Florida again)

The two combined allow me to avoid the spring cleaning as I whine and complain about not feeling good and not having my boys to watch in the playoffs anymore.

Moving forward, no more excuses.

I need to lose a few pounds to fit my fat butt into a dress I need to wear in a few weeks.

I don't want to buy anything new - and this dress is new, I just never wore it and now my ass has expanded without my permission.

I have been doing 'yoga' light excercises - but know it is time to hit the cardio hard again.

Remember "Project Ass Reduction"?

me neither.

It is a bit vague now - but PAR works.

I must recommit.

Who's with me?

Nothing like posting progress photos - but I think I need to get to the progress photos that are not so humiliating. If I could get back to this.....we would have nothing to complain about.

C'mon Greenie

I can't watch my boys beat the Habs tonight.

I won't be able to give my normal good juju to my boyfriend Mike.

Isn't he handsome?

I'm totally bummed.

So let's put this out to the universe,

"Greenie will get a goal tonight"

"the Caps will win tonight"

"Greenie will get a goal tonight"

Thanks for your help with this critical matter.

Trying hard to carry on.....

As if.....
As if anyone wants to come here and hear me whine about my problems.
Because my problems annoy me - even I have been avoiding putting them down.

It has not been an easy couple of months.....it is safe to say that the last 6 months have been a bit on the brutal side.
Unemployment, money woes, family pressures and stress, work stress and pressure. Finally a few of the worries have resolved themselves. I am doing my best to resurface and regain my normal routine. No need to hyperventilate in the closet or hide under the covers in deep depression.

The household income went from 2 to 1 - and I was in full on panic mode. Happily - the other half is working again....and we are beginning to re-surface to almost normal.
I never knew how stressful money could be until you have less of it than normal. (and my normal is less anyway)

The funny part is, I have always gauged my finacial stability by how many rolls of toilet paper I had under the bathroom sink.
When I was in college - I seemed to never have an extra roll - I would literally wait to buy it until the last square was clutching onto the cardboard roll.
As a grown up - I have consistently had at least 6 rolls under there.
When 2 paychecks became one - I was lucky to have one roll extra. I never ran out! But not the stability of the 6 pack.

Happily - there are 4 rolls under the sink today. So really, things could be a lot worse.